Don't load their gun

Last week, several of us from work attended a training event that was a bit different from the norm. The two-day course, called ‘Winning Edge’, was about how to change the way you think to develop (amongst other things) ‘success-oriented attitudes’.  It was donated to the Charity by a local trainer who needed to deliver her first session solo so she could be signed off to teach it independently.  

I’m not going to attempt to distil two days’ training in a single update, but here’s a little excerpt from one of the workbooks to give you a taster –

“Remember that the opposite of success isn’t failure – it’s not trying at all. If we view the ‘failure’ as a stepping stone and not a stumbling block, we ‘reframe’ the word in our consciousness, increase our confidence and reduce our fear of failure, which is a key reason that many people never even attempt to achieve their dreams.”

OK, I’m on board with that. But there were many discussions around several subjects and concepts that – I’m delighted to say – the team were ready to discuss, challenge and develop. It was a stimulating two days, and we still have a further day to go (in February).

But the title of this post is about weaponry, and it’s a concept that I think worth sharing. If someone insults you, or says something that upsets you, or offends you, then they are using a ‘verbal gun’. Now that gun is only loaded if you are insulted, are upset, or offended. In other words, the other person has absolutely no power to ‘shoot’ you unless you choose to ‘load their gun’ by feeling a negative emotion.

And you can choose how you react.

Let me give an example:

“Carolyn, you look tired today”. Is the person saying this to me

• a)       Concerned for my health
• b)      Making a snide comment as I have dark rings under my eyes
• c)       Just making conversation
• d)      Making an observation?

It doesn’t matter, because how I react, how I choose to interpret and respond to what is being said to me, is what counts. They made a comment. I can choose to listen, or not listen, and above all I can choose how I feel about what they said. I can choose not to be insulted, upset or offended. 

This subject alone engendered quite a bit of discussion, but it did have a useful learning point – perhaps it could even be interpreted as ‘don’t let the beggars grind you down’. But it’s more than that, it’s not about defiance or challenge, it's about choice. Choose not to let someone insult, offend, upset you, and you totally take away their power. Don’t load their gun with the bullet of your response.  This will take time and practice if you choose to subscribe to this way of thinking and if you are upset by something that’s ok, it doesn’t mean your feelings are less valid because you chose to react to them in that way.

For more information; and in the meantime, here’s the website https://www.winningedgemindset.com/

Double dip doesn't always mean recession

Get qualified

I have been a marketer almost all my career, yet I got my first fully fledged direct marketing qualification from the Institute of Direct Marketing after I hit 50.

I have enjoyed a varied career so far including retail marketing, business to business and charity/higher education fundraising. So why the IDM, and why at this point in my career? 

Why wait so long?

I did most of a CIM Diploma in the 90s but didn’t complete due to a life change (babies). It wasn’t so much ‘waiting’ to get the qualification, as doing what I needed, when I needed it. The CIM Diploma course gave me a good all round general marketing background, which suited my early career.  When my new job demanded a much higher competency in direct marketing, it made sense for both me and my employer for me to get qualified.

Been there, done that

I was in a class full of younger marketers who, though university qualified and expert in their current jobs mostly did not have the breadth of experience I did (due to the advantage of age). I had to be careful not to give an example for every single case study or scenario – quite simply because I really had ‘been there, done that’; but it didn’t mean I’d been there perfectly, and done it perfectly.

There’s no doubt about it, learning when you are older is tougher, and when you have an extremely busy job (oh, and a strategic review as well), it’s harder to juggle the work and study load. Not being based in London, like the majority of fellow students, was also a disadvantage for group work. No after work catch ups with the rest of the gang in London bars for me... alas.

Was it worth it?

Beware the marketer who knows it all. I worked in computing in the 1980s, when the idea of a ‘desktop Cray’ was a revolutionary concept. (You can probably fit the same computing power on a mobile phone these days.) Technology has changed, marketing channels have changed, and even behaviours have changed (multiple touch points, for starters).

By undertaking an up to date relevant marketing qualification, I didn’t just update my knowledge technologically and in today’s market place, but I learned more about the direct marketing techniques that I already use. I got the improved results I was looking for, and my employer expected.  

What next?

Given the opportunity, I would like to convert my Diploma to a Masters, but I have instead opted to take another Diploma - this time from the Institute of Fundraising. Not only will it enhance my direct marketing skills in the sector, but will broaden my expertise in areas that I have hitherto only touched on.  And if I complete it, I'll be a double Dip!

Completing the IDM Diploma most certainly has given me a taste for formal learning that I thought had left me many years ago and I intend to continue my personal professional development right up until I retire. There is no reason whatsoever to stop trying to get better at what I do, and I enjoy it.

Links:

Institute of Direct Marketing Diploma in Direct and Digital Marketing

Chartered Institute of Marketing

Institute of Fundraising

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