tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-253103702024-03-13T10:39:14.659-07:00The somewhat odd life of a musician and fundraiserA fundraiser, writer and folk musician in the UK playing guitar, bass, singing, writing and marketing. All posts in this blog are personal and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of my employer, cat, neighbour or government.ukfolkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127548363787460694noreply@blogger.comBlogger442125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25310370.post-88532486621926752942024-01-23T07:17:00.000-08:002024-01-26T09:03:23.514-08:00Long-lived memories<br />I've posted before about my mum being a costumier - and the odd things she's made over the years. For a while she worked for a publisher producing costumes to go with book tours; these included Raymond Briggs' Snowman, Fungus the Bogeyman, Peter Rabbit and Dilly the Dinosaur to name but a few.
She also made a costume for Postman Pat and a buffalo (took two people for that costume) for a carpet company. She made ballet costumes, hats for Paul Revere bar (well, the girls didn't wear much else), and of course multiple theatrical millinery for ballet, opera, muscials (the crown of thorns for Jesus Christ Super Star), a crocodile for Peter Pan (there where wheels underneath so the costume wearer could scuttle about on stage) and something for Mickey Dolenz (who I met), but I can't remember what.<div><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMhc8jOaU0RPSeVTGEy9oNBq_w58w_MDfmQ6Z7E91etFXGGpJk-59Z-izd47OrNrcKF-UVltsY8taeOCjsHh_ztdObc-7_6aXnUqM5WUOwQTwtPCaXq041M7aDFJHHnTw6I6LaT5kD12JvMBxU61aoE4XPnxorwdUAIAURNg93C_3WGnRYl0q4Nw/s4080/20240121_202025.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3060" data-original-width="4080" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMhc8jOaU0RPSeVTGEy9oNBq_w58w_MDfmQ6Z7E91etFXGGpJk-59Z-izd47OrNrcKF-UVltsY8taeOCjsHh_ztdObc-7_6aXnUqM5WUOwQTwtPCaXq041M7aDFJHHnTw6I6LaT5kD12JvMBxU61aoE4XPnxorwdUAIAURNg93C_3WGnRYl0q4Nw/s320/20240121_202025.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Thanks to the BBC</td></tr></tbody></table></div><div> She is now 92 and trying to record her days at Stratford with Gielgud and Leigh, and the many other individuals who became famous, is a challenge. Her memory is is - of course - not as good as it was, but certain things will trigger memories. And sometimes those memories will live on and pop up where you least expect.
For example, I remembered Dilly the Dinosaur as soon as I saw him - on BBC's QI programme last week. I will admit to watching on playback, not live, because my mother let me know excitedly that she'd seen herself on TV. There was Gyles Brandreth and Sally, with Dilly the Dinosaur (head model).<div><br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG4F_GRtNfUU8KufBABQqJ5JqqhpzCnWmvKuekE5X9IGgmwWTY799P6nJzgvvXlUfhMO0KFrOnKK3BcIDNYnWdyE2sv9bbh293AFWbG6MHWnEb8JSOXmcAE_4dHkHHbPCwnolqwV89pCMP4V8VrXp0rqa3ZHeFgbhv-BfwCuocFxmNxtqutIeknQ/s4080/20231225_192016.jpg" style="clear: left; display: block; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: center;"><img alt="" border="0" data-original-height="4080" data-original-width="3060" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG4F_GRtNfUU8KufBABQqJ5JqqhpzCnWmvKuekE5X9IGgmwWTY799P6nJzgvvXlUfhMO0KFrOnKK3BcIDNYnWdyE2sv9bbh293AFWbG6MHWnEb8JSOXmcAE_4dHkHHbPCwnolqwV89pCMP4V8VrXp0rqa3ZHeFgbhv-BfwCuocFxmNxtqutIeknQ/s320/20231225_192016.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Sally enjoying the company of <br />Freda the Royal Python</span></td></tr></tbody></table>Sally used to sculpt the model for the heads of her creations in clay, then make papier mache casts. Sometimes they'd be reinforced or made of a stuff called samco (which needed setting with acetone). She would work with pearl glue, this weird red moulding material for plaster casting, foam rubber, calico, buckram... all those materials whose names are familiar to me still.
She would also make face masks in latex - for example in the 'Many Faces of Steed' she made a plaster cast of Patrick McNee's face and then created a number of replicas for use in the show (one of whom was my dad). She also made some hats for Madame Tussaud's, including Raquel Welch's white leather stetson and King Henry VIII's jewelled hat. The more I write, the more I remember. </div><div><br /></div><div>But back to plaster casting faces - I distinctly remember a camp bed in the kitchen with some chap lying on it, with straws up his nose and a face covered in plaster. Of course I have no idea who it was under there. For many years we also had a plaster cast of Marty Feldman's nose - I can't remember why, but I do remember going to Queens Park Rangers' stadium and meeting him when I was very small - and being just a little bit scared!</div></div><div><br /></div><div>At 92 my mum is still going to art classes and life drawing even though she has macular degeneration and her sight is failing. She has multiple health issues of course, but she goes shopping in her motorised buggy, lives independently and if very often out when I call because she is so busy. </div><div><br /></div><div>Think of how much is online these days - those photos on social media, pictures and documents scanned and shared. The mountain of information on geneaology sites, and of course the fantastic archives of libraries and press media (a search of the Barnet Press will reveal more for Sally I'm sure). You never know what will pop up where, and whether it will be something to smile about (as with Sally, Gyles and Dilly), or something to make you cringe. </div><div><br /></div><div>Liked this? Try...</div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2006/05/dr-who-monsters.html">Dr Who</a></li><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2009/06/danny-la-rue.html">Danny la Rue</a></li><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/search/label/judi%20dench">Judi Dench</a></li></ul><div>***Update! I emailed Gyles via his website saying how happy Sally was at seeing that photo, and the gentleman replied wishing her happy birthday and saying 'she's the best'. That's one long-lasting impression you made, Sally!***</div></div>ukfolkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127548363787460694noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25310370.post-74040521339882327272023-12-06T05:34:00.000-08:002023-12-06T05:34:35.086-08:00Tell me your stories<p>At work we've been talking about making memories special at this time of year. Though not everyone celebrates Christmas, it certainly is a focus on the calendar - even if it's just for increased sales of chocolate and sherry.</p><p>My colleague suggested ways of making memories that will last a lifetime, especially given that we work with families where a parent has a terminal cancer. But even when I worked at a dementia charity, making memories - even those that could not be retained due to dementia - was always important.</p><p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgt-qQWB4Lc9NZtUQIKIpYmw_0GNDKzi2XphEgv37WUNJ45WYZISFb15MojFnc9U18qJBE3X_3Pv_zyPCdf5SHbboe_YB0qoLiw9vyvurQhVbFcyvs3HNuBvL449TBGkY3PJnzMbJI-xTZ7mTOME5yJI-GkMPgDvODyFBvByz1Lxyn9wGoLPe8rPw/s3057/piano.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3057" data-original-width="3057" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgt-qQWB4Lc9NZtUQIKIpYmw_0GNDKzi2XphEgv37WUNJ45WYZISFb15MojFnc9U18qJBE3X_3Pv_zyPCdf5SHbboe_YB0qoLiw9vyvurQhVbFcyvs3HNuBvL449TBGkY3PJnzMbJI-xTZ7mTOME5yJI-GkMPgDvODyFBvByz1Lxyn9wGoLPe8rPw/s320/piano.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">We had a piano like this in our dining room</span></td></tr></tbody></table>The other day someone said 'I don't remember what present I got when I was five, but I do remember ...' and then recounted family experiences. It's true, the 'things' we get at Christmas or birthday or any other celebration are transient, but memories, experiences, they can make lasting impressions even if you don't remember the detail.</p><p>I'll share one from my childhood: We had an upright piano in our home and my grandmother played the piano at Christmas. I remember us around the piano and Granny (who died when I was about 10) playing the piano with gusto, dad on his trumpet (I still have it), Charles (granny's partner) on wooden spoon and cardboard box, and mum, my brother and I singing. I have no idea what we sang - whether it was Christmas songs or jazz, but that memory which is more than 50 years old, remains. </p><p>My father died in January 1974 when I was 13. My grandmother and grandfather both passed around Christmas time too, so for many years I associated Christmas time with grief. It took having children of my own to change that. But it took time.</p><p>What does Christmas mean to you? What does this time of year, whether it is a religious celebration or simply extra time off work, bring to you and your family? I would love to hear your stories. Please add i comments below.</p><p>Liked this? Try...</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2020/12/the-coldest-christmas.html">The coldest Christmas</a></li><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2018/11/i-hate-christmas.html">I hate Christmas</a></li><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2020/12/christmas-movie-season.html">Christmas movie season</a></li></ul><p></p><p>Resources:</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://www.cruse.org.uk/understanding-grief/managing-grief/christmas/">Coping with grief at Christmas (Cruse</a>)</li><li><a href="https://www.psychologies.co.uk/how-to-make-happy-memories/">How to make happy memories</a></li><li><a href="https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/" target="_blank">Alzheimer's Society</a></li></ul><p></p><p><br /></p><p>Credits:</p><p>Piano photo courtesy of: https://antiquepianoshop.com/ </p><p><br /></p>ukfolkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127548363787460694noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25310370.post-24432818813979496242023-11-01T02:04:00.004-07:002023-11-01T02:19:59.645-07:00A sense of justice<p>If you know me personally, you will probably be aware that I have a strong sense of justice, I am trusting and I believe in the better nature of people. I know I am often disappointed, but I'd rather trust and be let down than spend my life distrusting and being suspicious of <i>everyone</i>. I think it's mentally healthier, even though it means some challenging outcomes at times.</p><p>It is good though when, for once, your sense of justice is reinforced by the justice system itself. For a little context, in 2021 I was waiting for the car in front of me to turn right when the road was clear. I had my brakes on, it was a long, clear road. <b>Bam! </b>Boy racer rear-end shunts my car at speed. He's apologetic and actually quite concerned as I was very shocked by the experience at the time.</p><p></p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3_wEG3xJREXImm3Krmi-JeXJTvwYLSbDakOGJkUhYGMViqX1ykCxCi1A3Kq07s5nVu6dp552O6baxfCWaPy_XO_PBHmfS_nxKQO89v25DEPZXb-4-70gTCF06RHvoWXaozHjn-AnFINzwvXGSuEZp6H_LLmD_eAzn5XZW6quiCVgsVoumVXvfXw/s680/dead%20car.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="592" data-original-width="680" height="279" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3_wEG3xJREXImm3Krmi-JeXJTvwYLSbDakOGJkUhYGMViqX1ykCxCi1A3Kq07s5nVu6dp552O6baxfCWaPy_XO_PBHmfS_nxKQO89v25DEPZXb-4-70gTCF06RHvoWXaozHjn-AnFINzwvXGSuEZp6H_LLmD_eAzn5XZW6quiCVgsVoumVXvfXw/s320/dead%20car.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://andrewg2442.blogspot.com/2010/08/rip-car.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Picture from the talented Andrew Garrison</span></a></td></tr></tbody></table>Clearly he had been on his phone or just daydreaming (the former most likely). Insurance details swapped, Sheena turns up to support me, his dad appears to get very cross with him. After all he's 18 and just totalled a very nice Corsa. And sent our beloved Beamer to the scrap yard too. Obviously his fault. We took photos of the cars. But... I didn't take pictures of the road, the exact location of the collision and didn't get any witnesses (though some kind folks did stop to enquire how I was). <p></p><p>The insurance took ages - but we got a decent enough reimbursement on the Beamer - not enough to replace like for like, but we got an old Merc instead. Insurance spent ages settling. And then... we are told it's going to court! </p><p>Boy racer's story is that I pulled out of the junction and stalled in front of him. What?!!! The boy had concocted a lie to reduce blame. And I'm pretty sure it was his dad pushing him, because his dad was very fixated on what impact it would have on the lad's insurance. And I must admit, at 18, it would no doubt be very expensive for him to be insured after an accident like that.</p><p>However, his story was a blatant lie. And his insurance company decided to challenge it in court (having listened to and no doubt believed his version of events). Cut to June 2023 - court case planned. He says he can't attend. Court date coincidentally cancelled. Jump to October 2023, and the case is eventually heard.</p><p>We had a lovely chap for our barrister - can't have been far off retirement, very laid back. Their barrister was younger, and meaner! When I was on the witness stand he repeatedly said 'I suggest that you ...' and then recited guff about where my car was and what I was doing. He tried very hard to undermine me and I repeated my position and rebuffed his 'suggestions' (for 'suggestions', read lies) very firmly. He did annoy me - I'm sorry but my sense of justice (or injustice) was surely riled. </p><p>I was travelling from Beccles to home, and it's a straight road. There was no reason for me to be coming out of the side turn. And, thankfully, I had a petrol receipt showing that I had been in Beccles just 20 minutes before the accident.</p><p>The judge listened carefully, and when boy racer got on the stand, he turned out to be a pretty good liar. But his story had a few holes in it (like, if he was going 40 mph on a clear road and I came out and stalled in front of him, why did he not take any evasive action?). There was detailed evidence from me, and not so detailed from him - the key difference being mine was true, his was a fabrication. </p><p>In the opposition's summing up, tough barrister said I was 'combative' and that my memory wasn't good (one detail is all I could not recall exactly, whether I was in netural or in gear). Our barrister did a summing up that challenged some of the other side's assertations, but was done in a gentle, rather ineffective way.</p><p>Thank goodness for evidence!</p><p>The judge summed up the whole proceedings (after a 20 minute recess) and I was hugely impressed! Her summary of the evidence, her referral to my being combative as being emphatic, and examining all the evidence deciding that my story was the more likely, meant that we won the case.</p><p>Hurrah! Truth won, justice was done. She didn't refer to the other side as 'liars', merely as remembering the incident differently. I guess that saved her having to start a contempt of court case as well. </p><p>It was not easy, it was not nice. But we bloody won!<br /></p><p>If you liked this, try...</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2023/06/we-didnt-catch-covid.html">We didn't catch covid</a></li><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2007/12/take-five-minutes.html">Take five minutes</a></li><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2014/11/what-i-learned-from-wiggles.html">What I learned from the Wiggle</a>s</li></ul><p></p>ukfolkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127548363787460694noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25310370.post-77750020765775619572023-10-16T00:59:00.001-07:002023-10-16T00:59:20.893-07:00When I woke up<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5bniOw9HqX36oBIw2ddGzGHDGhNCPR4wVpb66R4l-_FyOCh6girJ16fspPlCh8seSsd-KLfRzFPyaltbUPg_p7zv6wjOwynmwY_L0LbinGB1Lg6X9rEyDEhlBBDg75lXPXiAr2bqxJVH2RziMgUmiFPeZcPudG2cqCeiDJC1UFVNNBaeLLuYRzA/s2048/me%20and%20the%20wife.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5bniOw9HqX36oBIw2ddGzGHDGhNCPR4wVpb66R4l-_FyOCh6girJ16fspPlCh8seSsd-KLfRzFPyaltbUPg_p7zv6wjOwynmwY_L0LbinGB1Lg6X9rEyDEhlBBDg75lXPXiAr2bqxJVH2RziMgUmiFPeZcPudG2cqCeiDJC1UFVNNBaeLLuYRzA/s320/me%20and%20the%20wife.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">We identify as Happy</span></td></tr></tbody></table>I’ve written a lot in my blog about different things like cancer, work, travel and music. For a change I am going to talk about who I am, not just what I’ve done.
I am in my sixties, and I have two children, two grandchildren and two years ago I married my wife. How I got here is a long story, but in summary, as a child I played with Action Man (not Barbie), I loved to dress up as a pirate (not a princess), and I did meet and marry a man, but he hated my love of hats (not pretty girly ones) – amongst other things. When I had a strange urge to buy a female friend flowers, or had an erotic dream that included women, and then had a crush on another female friend, none of these things indicated to me I might be bisexual. Yeah – slow on the uptake! <div><br /></div><div> So now I identify as lesbian. Because all options are open, of course, but I am not intending to veer from this course now I have found it. I was very loath to talk about being gay when I first realised it in my early fifties, but I embrace it now and openly refer to my wife rather than partner in conversation. Let others’ conscious or unconscious bias do as it will, I am happy and confident with who I am – more so now than I have ever been. </div><div><br /></div><div> When I say I ‘identify’ – that may set some hackles rising. Why do we need to ‘identify’? Very simple answer - because society wants to put a label on it. We can’t just ‘be’ – we must fit into a slot or a place in others’ perceptions of spectrum, so we label everything from sexuality to neurological ability. I have a stoma, but I don’t want to identify as an ‘ostomate’. I have had cancer, but I don’t want to identify as ‘survivor’. I have friends with life limiting conditions, but they don’t want to identify as ‘disabled’ – that’s not who we are, it’s just part of our lives. But there are some places you do need to identify, even if it’s just so you can use the right toilet (and yes, I do get looks sometimes when I used the one with the picture of a wheelchair on the door). </div><div><br /></div><div> You may consider me ‘woke’ because I am a gay woman, a charity worker, because I support refugees and challenge behaviours like racism and sexism, and that’s fine with me. If you call me ‘woke’, I will take it as a compliment.
</div>ukfolkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127548363787460694noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25310370.post-37139706713260735112023-06-11T03:56:00.003-07:002023-06-11T03:56:58.667-07:00We didn't catch covid<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKDgGcv7R98cz5UZ8ExCROQ3JB7IXvkLY5iX6RzgXR7nxhEwW0tSbEDD04IGT9-A-d3ypN0Ugvh2FANXTG4uU7t0spEpFByTIAlhSMMSD0FCDpDfwqhTqNp5SnQhuIlkCpz-QYAcd8hQtwFO4nf5mzq5-8JXcrhxbBzlQC1zOurh8aOrvPgRo/s4000/20230602_170449.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4000" data-original-width="3000" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKDgGcv7R98cz5UZ8ExCROQ3JB7IXvkLY5iX6RzgXR7nxhEwW0tSbEDD04IGT9-A-d3ypN0Ugvh2FANXTG4uU7t0spEpFByTIAlhSMMSD0FCDpDfwqhTqNp5SnQhuIlkCpz-QYAcd8hQtwFO4nf5mzq5-8JXcrhxbBzlQC1zOurh8aOrvPgRo/s320/20230602_170449.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br />Holiday blog post time! But not all the pictures of scenery and lovely meals (though Corfu has in abundance), but more a reflection on the visit to this amazing island, which is part of Greece, and has just had a change in government.<p></p><p>We arrived (late due to a problem with 'airspace over Slovakia') and the promised rain was nowhere to be seen. The airport was busy and travellers were hot and impatient. Driving to our hotel complex, I was minded that Lord's - where we were staying - was quite different to the Lord's - where I sometimes work.</p><p>The first thing I noticed on the drive is that everything was lush and green. The bottlebrush trees were in full colour, the angel's trumpets were huge, and the bouganvilla was in abundance. There were morning glory growing like weeds and the large totem pole cypruss broke up the mountainside horizons like exclamation marks.</p><p>We arrived on the Monday, the day after the weekend election on Greece. Having had a left wing government for some time, and the economy becoming more stable (I read), there was a lack of 'trickle down to the people. The electrion result was a Centre Right party, I think, but they have to have another election in June. I have no idea if that's good for Greece, I'm not goiing to comment on politics where I know so little. But I made observations.</p><p>The dustbins - large dumpsters - are placed along roads all over the countryside. Without exception they were overflowing and rubbish was blowing around into the local area - rural and town. Being a hot country there was, of course, a smell, but maybe they did emtpy them often, they just filled up quick. In </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnZd9iG3YDodB0dQJow1w2MThbnAykKRzBJ9EhTMBGYx1Qdd2oNaFjlL1C_dGbNp15ZuqcG2X5Oall0f-102F_J7r9bre4Y0xCeRObZxCJmlObCEP1ckEuyvtApqf1EmfPU0pn2vv5d-qF51_9XXUozqdGWmSZ98ajvh5iTSl5XxIjnSe0dns/s1600/IMG_8971.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnZd9iG3YDodB0dQJow1w2MThbnAykKRzBJ9EhTMBGYx1Qdd2oNaFjlL1C_dGbNp15ZuqcG2X5Oall0f-102F_J7r9bre4Y0xCeRObZxCJmlObCEP1ckEuyvtApqf1EmfPU0pn2vv5d-qF51_9XXUozqdGWmSZ98ajvh5iTSl5XxIjnSe0dns/s320/IMG_8971.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />two weeks we saw one dust truck going into a private holiday complex (ignoring the huge pile of garbage outside the nearby monastery). In Corfu they have very small sewage pipes, so all paper used in toilets is binned, not flushed. In our accommodation they emptied the bins almost daily, so odour was never an issue.<p></p><p>I had only ever been to Greece twice before (Rhodes and Athens) and both times for work, so my tourist experience of the country and its islands was non-existent. The people of Corfu were very friendly and accommodating, many (everyone we spoke to) could speak English and probably German too. Prices were reasonable (we could eat out well for £10 a head easily), and the rental of our bike and quad was very affordable. Petrol, too, was cheaper at first, though when we got back to GB, it looked like prices had fallen.</p><p>When we drove up into the mountains and through the smaller villages, there were still women all wearing black, and there were still cars that looked like they should be scrapped driving around with bits hanging off them. There were tourists on quad bikes and 'twist and go' (like the bike above), and the smartest cars (even the one we saw upside down with an ambulance next to it) were usually hire cars.</p><p>The main roads were good (very wiggly due to the landscape), but the side roads were full of potholes. The mountain roads varied - from smooth tarmac to concrete corners and then potholed single track - and all on the same route.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrFD6xrCW1n-F__EqpV0PeqMH5fihQDtw6TQoFt-g0cSWwLCPfPtoNusmWVKSSocLWxCQ2nVod7FP0d9sFb8Bm999wkCNNuh2Qkj4NOqmPJHftlrlXkQT3QJ-8RxUNazQayHC4BSY7iChXO09vd8MEu7DUr9glUjR-NZkn_y6bOknZgWQiYl4/s1600/IMG_9077.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrFD6xrCW1n-F__EqpV0PeqMH5fihQDtw6TQoFt-g0cSWwLCPfPtoNusmWVKSSocLWxCQ2nVod7FP0d9sFb8Bm999wkCNNuh2Qkj4NOqmPJHftlrlXkQT3QJ-8RxUNazQayHC4BSY7iChXO09vd8MEu7DUr9glUjR-NZkn_y6bOknZgWQiYl4/s320/IMG_9077.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>The views from the mountains were amazing. We stopped at one taverna and chatted with the owner whose family had lived in the area for generations. He told us how the Kaiser built on the next peak, but they all laughed as the water was on his peak. And he told how his grandfather taught him how to find water, so that's why he built his taverna where it was. He had olive groves and served us his own oil, he had vinyards and served us his own wine. He was old, gnarly, and friendly. He didn't like the government (which I wasn't sure) and we had similar opinions of the lack of politicans' understanding of the everyday life of people.<p></p><p>The beaches were clean, and even when the one night of storms brought in all the seaweed, it didn't impede our delight in laying on the hot sand and swimming in the shallow, clear sea. The jellyfish arrived in the second week, but we managed to avoid them.</p><p>I had no problems travelling or swimming with my stoma, which for other ostomates may be reassuring. I didn't even get heat rash around the seal, thankfully. We flew there and back on an Irish airline and I really don't like them. The staff are fine, but you have to pay even to fart, it seems. Thank goodness they didn't charge me extra for having a stoma!</p><p>Two weeks is a long holiday for me. The only other time I've been away than long was to Australia in 2018. It was a lovely two weeks. We both relaxed, enjoyed the island and enjoyed eachother's company and reading (audio) some great books.</p><p>And, we didn't catch covid.</p><p>Useful links:</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://www.discovergreece.com/ionian-islands/corfu" target="_blank">Discover Greece - Corfu</a></li><li><a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2023/may/24/greece-to-hold-fresh-elections-on-25-june" rel="nofollow">Greece - caretaker leader</a></li><li><a href="https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Hotel_Review-g664648-d1131914-Reviews-Lord_Complex-Agios_Georgios_Corfu_Ionian_Islands.html">Lord's Complex, Agios Giorgios</a></li></ul><p></p><p>Liked this? Try</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2018/11/adelong-morning.html">Adelong morning</a></li><li><a href="https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Hotel_Review-g664648-d1131914-Reviews-Lord_Complex-Agios_Georgios_Corfu_Ionian_Islands.html" target="_blank">Facepage and webook</a></li><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2011/04/closed.html">Closed!</a></li></ul><p></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>ukfolkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127548363787460694noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25310370.post-11064304284428943402023-05-20T08:02:00.001-07:002023-05-20T08:02:46.175-07:00From May to June<div class="separator"><p style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4000" data-original-width="3000" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEis5uTRAlwucfJPlAG6Z70k75bHKARisR5nU4bcnm1AYmMX5-q_Xg8CWRv66VXUqJO9R0hEANzAquMxcWVLEGj0ycohJzIKjQLnHgTXCs9-2tPQVpid2UqWVFvuI4vbyT-tZB-i9ZyBoZKB8yJiace9y2M4xFJ-zi9TcSj6lsCbNKmLLDiDtAc/s320/20230520_092836.jpg" width="240" /></p><p style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;">.</p></div><p></p>May is nearly over, and I haven't blogged in a while. It doesn't mean nothing is happening, it means I've been busy. Busy playing with Hannah and Sheena at the local beer festival (at the Rumburgh Buck), busy working and preparing for our biggest event of the year (#RedforRuth), and busy gardening!<br /><br />Of all the busy things I do, gardening is the most calming. I have a lovely polytunnel set up in my little veg area, and my greenhouse is full of young plants. I've claimed another bit of garden for another veg bed, and have had to put bamboo canes up to deter the plant nibbling peacock who visits regularly.<p></p><p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5ZN-BwQkm1gzoJODCLXmBCCNqlTe0RqFkY635b2LJNaOL73l39gzR06HmboNYzla5A2o3ItNtxiUy_nwVeu9icDTnDNtqVNPbCacwCXzZemAB8DxjMGyZ-__7Os5nxX9_BjO6UmvuVhEG1ukuZYJQ6d-WPNBQZuX1NGOpR-SW6uFl6nX1pRk/s4000/Percy.jpg" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4000" data-original-width="3000" height="204" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5ZN-BwQkm1gzoJODCLXmBCCNqlTe0RqFkY635b2LJNaOL73l39gzR06HmboNYzla5A2o3ItNtxiUy_nwVeu9icDTnDNtqVNPbCacwCXzZemAB8DxjMGyZ-__7Os5nxX9_BjO6UmvuVhEG1ukuZYJQ6d-WPNBQZuX1NGOpR-SW6uFl6nX1pRk/w153-h204/Percy.jpg" width="153" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Percy peacock</td></tr></tbody></table>Sheena loves cabbages so I am growing them in the polytunnel and in the veg bed under netting. We have so many beautiful butterflies (including white admiral whose caterpillars feed on the wild honeysuckle) and many of them rather fancy my brassicas! (And the older geration might just be saying 'Ooooh matron!' to themselves).</p><p>Watering is a very relaxing activity, as is deadheading. Weeding, not so much, but still necessary. We have one weed in our garden that just appeared this year in the lawn. The good folk of the Gardeners Question Time Facebook page assure me it is 'miner's lettuce' - an edible plant. But I won't be putting it on my salad - not with three dogs in the garden. I may try growing some elsewhere just for tasting purposes though.</p><p>My next big gardening project is reclaiming the borders at the dog training centre and putting in some plants that will thrive (given that dogs are everywhere, the border is in heavy shade, and it's not regularly watered). </p><p>Meanwhile, I will continue gardening and feeding the birds. We have a cuckoo nearby, regularly hear the nightingale, and have blackcap, wrens and robins. The feeder is visited by greater spotted woodpecker, marsh, great, long and blue tits, goldfinch and chaffinch. And under the feeder - a couple of stock doves, wood pigeons, dunnock and Percy. </p><p>I'm hoping we have lots of fresh produce from my efforts this, year. I will no doubt post pictures of cabbages and tomatoes in due course.</p><p>Liked this? Try...</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2014/07/a-walk-on-wild-side.html">A walk on the wild side</a></li><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2011/09/ramsey-canyon.html">Ramsey Canyon</a></li><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2020/09/pond-life.html">Pond life</a></li></ul><p></p>ukfolkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127548363787460694noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25310370.post-36798527667771342952023-03-17T08:45:00.003-07:002023-03-17T08:45:41.952-07:00Growing around grief<p>Working in the charity sector over the years I have met so
many amazing people, from the relatives of loved ones with Alzheimer’s, to
survivors of serious accidents - and the families of those who did not survive.
</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Dealing with grief at work is very different to dealing with
it in your personal life – and I mean both for the bereaved, and for the
professional. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the charity sector,
gifts ‘in memory’ of a loved one are hugely important; they allow the bereaved
to celebrate a life passed, and also to support a cause close to their heart in
that process. It could be anything from Air ambulances to Zoos – there’s
usually a relevance to the deceased. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Supporting a charity gives the family the opportunity to
share their memories, thoughts and wishes, often through dedicated ‘in memory’
pages on a website. This little bit of immortality can mean a lot to a family
and help them process their grief. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgY33ZQcFovY_O2GHdqVgUbnK-u_1megjzK3ZpxXmX0lDBCM2ZspuEmMXpB6TKHRVYIXxhQTgeXuGeDSEYacHwE3sGynjm4-L9pUmnGpQnXsENTKwu3PHUp55aNw86wMnY6xn3QMdWex_N8sme_YKHECGHX2Nv35zfCQwEcSe0KBaxLYlN8wY/s553/Grow%20grief.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="221" data-original-width="553" height="171" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgY33ZQcFovY_O2GHdqVgUbnK-u_1megjzK3ZpxXmX0lDBCM2ZspuEmMXpB6TKHRVYIXxhQTgeXuGeDSEYacHwE3sGynjm4-L9pUmnGpQnXsENTKwu3PHUp55aNw86wMnY6xn3QMdWex_N8sme_YKHECGHX2Nv35zfCQwEcSe0KBaxLYlN8wY/w428-h171/Grow%20grief.png" width="428" /></a></div>Many years ago I learned about <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/stories-53267505" target="_blank">Elizabeth Kubler Ross’s Stages of Grief</a>, and later on researched more about her and her extraordinary
perspective on life after death. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her
‘model’ of grief is well known and very logical, but there are other models,
such as <a href="https://www.funeralguide.co.uk/help-resources/bereavement-support/the-grieving-process/tonkins-model-of-grief" target="_blank">Tonkin’s ‘growing around’ grie</a>f – grief does not really diminish over
time, we just grow around it. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are
other models, and Freud had plenty to say on grief too, but models aside, grief
is hugely personal.<o:p></o:p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBFZutQa4l-avO-kVPT7e4WBiC1Wh3Y0V3iThDZba4DP6LGErZzyy2EanDFfqedwO9leHLfk-5-FRuRQ2yY_njraZGQT9hlZQM-cbO1ULgUOl_Sc4QeN303ltbsgOAlA_-QWkHX6wj2ezka2ouRutgZum4tHg2GIQ_mN6MQ1japU9fAdwE-d0/s1116/Dad.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1116" data-original-width="782" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBFZutQa4l-avO-kVPT7e4WBiC1Wh3Y0V3iThDZba4DP6LGErZzyy2EanDFfqedwO9leHLfk-5-FRuRQ2yY_njraZGQT9hlZQM-cbO1ULgUOl_Sc4QeN303ltbsgOAlA_-QWkHX6wj2ezka2ouRutgZum4tHg2GIQ_mN6MQ1japU9fAdwE-d0/s320/Dad.jpg" width="224" /></a></div><p></p><p class="MsoNormal">I lost my father when I was 13 years old. I was very young; I think you could probably equate it to 10 or 11, given the maturity
of young people today. My brother’s reaction was to protect me, initially,
and then – as my mother disappeared into her grief – to leave home. My
reaction? I can’t accurately recall, but I think depression was certainly a big
part of it. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Although my father died more than 50 years ago, I still
grieve. On the train home from London the other day, I talked to him – told him
all about my day (silently, I didn’t need extra space on the train). I clearly
saw him in my mind’s eye, sitting in the empty seat opposite me, and he reacted
(in my imagination) how I remembered he would have done. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I didn’t go to my father’s funeral – to the church or the
burial. Maybe it would have helped me to have gone, I don’t know, but now at
any funeral (even someone I don't really know) I am a useless
emotional heap. That may be a legacy of unresolved grief, but it’s often
embarrassing. Yes, I have grown around my grief – I don’t wear it daily, but it
is easy for me to slip into sadness when I think of all the years I never had
with my father, how he never knew me as an adult, or heard me sing (though he
may well have hated my music choices), or met his grandchildren. But then again, I never saw him grow
old, either.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Today someone said to me that grief is ‘love with nowhere to
go’. I found that very moving, but also hope that as we grow around grief, our
love is not lost, but finds new avenues, and stays true for those we have loved
and lost. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">Useful links:</p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://www.cruse.org.uk/" target="_blank">Cruse Bereavement Support</a></li><li><a href="https://ruthstraussfoundation.com/support/" target="_blank">Ruth Strauss Foundation</a> - pre-bereavement support for when a family member has a terminal illness</li><li><a href="https://www.winstonswish.org/" target="_blank">Winston's Wish</a> - post-bereavement support for children</li><li><a href="https://www.muchloved.com/" target="_blank">MuchLoved</a> - an online in memory site </li></ul><div>Related blog posts</div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2023/02/not-out.html">62 not out</a></li><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2012/10/just-year-older-than-me.html">Just a year older</a></li><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2022/07/dont-defer-diagnosis.html">Don't defer diagnosis</a></li><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2013/04/from-heartening-to-heartbreak.html">From heartening to heartbreak</a></li></ul></div><p></p>ukfolkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127548363787460694noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25310370.post-24373314662048085312023-02-03T05:08:00.004-08:002023-02-03T06:35:26.213-08:0062 - not out<p>My father loved cricket, he played for Sudbury (who knows why as we lived in Barnet) and listened to matches avidly (and probably watched them when we did get a television). I remember names like Fred Trueman and Basil D'oliviera and seeing my father in his whites. I also enjoyed the 'Botham years'. Now this was a long time ago, and though I've only been to one cricket match since my father played, it's a game that sits comfortably in my memories. </p><p><br />So this January, having finished my role at MDUK in December, I had time to 'rest'. But, in fact, ended up doing plenty including having my kidney stone blasted and the evil stent finally removed. A good time to have my surgery and take a bit of a rest as my new job started on 1st February. </p><p> New job - new things to learn. I have joined a charity in another area that is new to me - and once again I am moved and inspired by the work they do. It's another maternity cover role which I hugely enjoy, I can lend my experience and knowledge and support the charity whilst their Head of Fundraising is on leave. I'm also really glad that we will work together for a couple of months before she goes on leave so that we can develop the plans for the year ahead together.</p><p>But here's why I talked about cricket in this post. The charity is the Ruth Strauss Foundation - and though I didn't know much about the charity beforehand, I had actually heard of Sir Andrew Strauss, the England cricketer. His wife Ruth passed from a non-smoking related lung cancer, leaving two young children. But before she died, she and Andrew planned and launched the charity, the Foundation, to provide support for families where a parent has a terminal diagnosis, and to fund more research into a cancer that is increasing in prevalence.</p><p> I've been reading the research and 'mission' information about the charity and didn't realise that so many children lose a parent each year, nor that non-smoking related lung cancer is the eighth most common cause of cancer-related death. Although smoking is still a huge cause of lung cancer, I wonder about vaping (we have no idea what impact that will have as it's such a 'new' habit) and, of course, our deterioration in air quality as we continue to pollute the planet.</p><p>So this charity speaks to me as a parent, a grandparent, someone who has had cancer and as a conservationist. </p><p>I will blog more as I learn more (it's only day three!), but in the meantime, on my very first day I was cheeky enough to ask for a selfie from the man himself, who just happened to pop into the ECB and made a special visit to see the team who were there that day.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmYr0eAgqgi5-SnWgSdC1fEg8k66oahMGWAvKoQ6a-85dzPrTClkLdNHq0r56P9hQegRHcN5uzLoewa1i8DnFCAulya5sih_7H1bpBq3Omiw7wDGuSd_sYoQX_FynaJODHJ3q_ifJ5ANqi6YiqKFVxxYCzzSlQZB3tJtgSPmv701AY-opfnhs/s1080/Andrew.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="810" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmYr0eAgqgi5-SnWgSdC1fEg8k66oahMGWAvKoQ6a-85dzPrTClkLdNHq0r56P9hQegRHcN5uzLoewa1i8DnFCAulya5sih_7H1bpBq3Omiw7wDGuSd_sYoQX_FynaJODHJ3q_ifJ5ANqi6YiqKFVxxYCzzSlQZB3tJtgSPmv701AY-opfnhs/s320/Andrew.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><p></p><p><b>Useful links</b></p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://ruthstraussfoundation.com/support/" target="_blank">Support for families facing bereavement (Ruth Strauss Foundation)</a></li><li><a href="https://www.cruse.org.uk/understanding-grief/grief-experiences/losing-a-parent/" target="_blank">Losing a parent (Cruse)</a></li><li><a href="https://ruthstraussfoundation.com/non-smoking-lung-cancer/" target="_blank">Non-smoking lung cancers (Ruth Strauss Foundation)</a></li><li><a href="https://www.cdc.gov/cancer/lung/nonsmokers/index.htm" target="_blank">Non-smoking lung cancers (CDC USA)</a></li></ul><p></p><p>Liked this? Try...</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2022/12/still-learning.html">Still learning</a></li><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2022/07/dont-defer-diagnosis.html">Don't defer diagnosis</a></li></ul><p></p>ukfolkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127548363787460694noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25310370.post-30811262646126606112022-12-23T03:41:00.004-08:002022-12-23T03:47:11.201-08:00Family archives<p style="text-align: left;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiFur06aDm7iyn03wqDqP9auFRWFRywzHl0on2kV3eKmXSI4rfIpexpTHdsz5zkVaAG5nLq608ZFcl9mwGVSBIqHakVS0uE065b8skfiUorYQolKa2uYZJ6P_G1UOMHlVCNwqdAFlaK_z4qyeT_m1Jjn-J5YwxERUTp_nEsvNaSsXz3oz5xxI/s320/EdwardK.jpg" /><br />I have some interesting documents from various family connections - such as an acceptance of US Citizenship for Edward Keller (dated 1876) and a rather unpleasant letter about my grandmother's divorce from Leslie Hemsworth (who it seemed also ended up in the USA). I have materials from my step-grandmother too, and of course the full <a href="https://sheppardfamilyhistory.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Sheppard Family Histories</a> (but they are staying safe with me and will remain with my family).<br /></p><div class="separator" dir="rtl" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><p></p><p>The Keller family were my grandmother's second husband's, but he was alienated from his family (previous wife/children) so I have no idea what happened to them or whether they would even be interested in these old documents.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: right;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHucUwtBZ4DAbOH9XzhQSoFHrdc-wb3Nlz9z_ModAgo5OFyHBskHTufjBdKuGQizgkr-7gkmpY43doE3NuzLLpNYTx_j8hvGX7a7XK0v6YZnrMhqjjwbuy7VhrwpGgqhdpLutIBMDroBG9MoWK9WwDrST7PC3ramTibDvFOu1-vVtuGx-0j1o/s1080/Ricu.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Sepia photograph of Peter Ricu `804" border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="810" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHucUwtBZ4DAbOH9XzhQSoFHrdc-wb3Nlz9z_ModAgo5OFyHBskHTufjBdKuGQizgkr-7gkmpY43doE3NuzLLpNYTx_j8hvGX7a7XK0v6YZnrMhqjjwbuy7VhrwpGgqhdpLutIBMDroBG9MoWK9WwDrST7PC3ramTibDvFOu1-vVtuGx-0j1o/w240-h320/Ricu.jpg" title="Peter Ricu, 1804" width="240" /></a></div><br />I have looked up to see if there are any groups researching Family History for these families, but unless I wanted to sign up and pay for a service I don't need, there doesn't seem to be an easy way to share these interesting snippets of history. This photo, for example, is 'Cousin Peter Ricu' dated 1804. Who was he? In smart military uniform, isn't he.<p></p><p>I don't want to destroy these old documents, but then again, what do I do with them? I can keep them until I shuffle off, but then someone else will just throw them away.</p><p>If you have any ideas about what to do with these documents I'd appreciate it (add in comments). I don't want to throw away those intriguing insights into social history.</p><p>Liked this? Try...</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2022/05/memory-triggers.html">Memory triggers</a></li><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2021/06/what-week.html">What a week</a></li></ul><p></p><p>(Sorry the wrap around the photos wasn't working today!)</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>ukfolkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127548363787460694noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25310370.post-43076011751124730362022-12-22T08:10:00.004-08:002022-12-22T08:16:33.818-08:00Still learning<p>At the end of 2021 I took a maternity cover contract at
Muscular Dystrophy UK (MDUK), as Head of Individual Giving. When I joined, I
knew nothing about muscular dystrophy.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Muscular dystrophy (MD), for starters, is around 60
different conditions, all of them muscle-wasting – that means the muscles
deteriorate over time. To quote the NHS: <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i>“In most cases, muscular dystrophy runs in families<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; float: none; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">. It usually develops after inheriting a faulty gene from one
or both parents. MD is caused by mutations (alterations) in the genes
responsible for healthy muscle structure and function.</span>” <o:p></o:p></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Some conditions, like <a href="https://musculardystrophyuk.org/conditions/duchenne-muscular-dystrophy-dmd">Duchenne</a>, are life-limiting. The heart is a
muscle too. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Although categorised as a ‘rare disease’, muscular dystrophy
affects around 110,000 people in the UK – which by the time you include their
families, friends, and support networks, impacts thousands more. I do have a
friend with a muscular dystrophy, I just never realised that’s what it was.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Several things will stay with me from my year with MDUK– one
of which is the fact that you can <b>prevent</b> a disease. <i>“<a href="https://musculardystrophyuk.org/conditions/spinal-muscular-atrophy-sma">Spinal muscular atrophy</a> (SMA) is a group of hereditary diseases that progressively
destroys motor neurons.”</i> However, <a href="https://musculardystrophyuk.org/news-blogs-and-stories/blogs/new-born-sma-screening-trial-in-thames-valley">new-born screening</a> can identify whether
the baby has the variant gene and gene therapy can be applied early on (way
before any physical indications of the condition). With gene therapy, the child
can grow up <b>without</b> the life-limiting disease. That to me is mind blowing!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The second is that when a new, disease modifying drug is
identified, even after positive clinical trials, it may not be adopted by <a href="https://www.nice.org.uk/" target="_blank">NICE</a>.
MDUK (and many other health-related charities) work hard to ensure access to
treatments for those they benefit – and it’s not always a clear-cut case. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know of two examples of children who
have had access to treatment (that isn’t necessarily going to be there in
future for others) that has dramatically improved their quality of life. One
example is <a href="https://musculardystrophyuk.org/get-involved/campaign/our-campaigns/fast-track/translarna" target="_blank">Translarna</a>. I’ll be watching the MDUK website in January to see if NICE
have agreed to make it accessible to children newly diagnosed with Duchenne.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqeBBy-3JFycOuWQH5PVuJfQN9esSaSd4DA0wuzNqoVG6HMfqla13PrWkFoTJKqzsQFCAIY1Kys2SQtLkKsuHLjOCs5v0kc9H5tLtPzvVKYXJw0ORs9s1vmmOeAtLDArKm4D9vjbnBK6CczsEo-Hniq3j-bZ7UtnKlFN4ACytIaioGpmn9YSM/s2048/CP%20Toilet.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqeBBy-3JFycOuWQH5PVuJfQN9esSaSd4DA0wuzNqoVG6HMfqla13PrWkFoTJKqzsQFCAIY1Kys2SQtLkKsuHLjOCs5v0kc9H5tLtPzvVKYXJw0ORs9s1vmmOeAtLDArKm4D9vjbnBK6CczsEo-Hniq3j-bZ7UtnKlFN4ACytIaioGpmn9YSM/s320/CP%20Toilet.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>The third is the fantastic <a href="https://www.changing-places.org/" target="_blank">Changing Places</a> project. I had no
idea such toilets existed and the difference they make for families, individuals
and carers who just want a simple day out or even just a trip to the
supermarket. Now I notice them when I see them, and smile. <o:p></o:p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal">One thing I learned was about myself - and that even though I try very hard to be woke (yeah, it can be an ambition!), I can be guilty of micro-aggressions. I wrote a <a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2022/01/think-before-you.html" target="_blank">separate post</a> about this.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I spent the year with amazing colleagues, some with a muscle
wasting condition, some with family members with a condition. And I had the privilege of meeting the people who support, and
are supported by, the charity. I learned so much more by just speaking or working
with people who have a muscular dystrophy.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">Goodbye MDUK, and all the best for 2023 and on. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Now, on for the next adventure and set of learnings. I do
love the third sector, it is always going to surprise, engage and teach me new
things.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">Liked this? Try...</p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2022/03/tales-from-fundraiser.html">Tales from a fundraiser</a></li><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2022/01/think-before-you.html">Think before you ...</a></li><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2021/11/always-learning.html" target="_blank">Always learning</a></li></ul><p></p><p class="MsoNormal">Useful links</p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://musculardystrophyuk.org/" target="_blank">Muscular Dystrophy UK</a></li><li><a href="https://www.duchenneuk.org/" target="_blank">Duchenne UK</a></li><li><a href="https://www.changing-places.org/" target="_blank">Changing Places</a></li><li><a href="https://smanewbornscreening.org.uk/" target="_blank">SMA Newborn Baby Screening Alliance</a></li></ul>ukfolkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127548363787460694noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25310370.post-101824442574687352022-11-18T09:06:00.010-08:002022-11-18T09:13:28.307-08:00Fundraising strategies<p>I have been working in fundraising a long time, and I know how to develop strategies, and how to deliver them. But when I talk to others, I often focus too much on the delivery and not enough on the development. So I decided to articulate my thoughts in a blog post. As Simon Sinek says, '<a href="https://www.ted.com/talks/simon_sinek_how_great_leaders_inspire_action?language=en" target="_blank">Start with the Why</a>'</p><p>Firstly, why am I doing this post? Because I know that sharing my strategic knowledge and expertise helps others in the sector, and - in the long run - it will help me. Articulating what I do instinctively is not always easy in an interview situation, for example. </p><p></p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRFclaaxmEHXwFsOhGycD0AHB01b4zcQSUj1Pnm6AY3Rv_arjZRP75Z0IRGawOoQArh9ZU-uk_uIw1I9ipZJc2sgOS2_EHjyB78xuB3JudC6Xdip_kmFeERrO6sSo9DkpR_N_d66G7RyrcIinjB5dhn3IUZPBIyT9TagDr960cKrPHErGfkss/s395/Strategy%20model.png" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="287" data-original-width="395" height="233" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRFclaaxmEHXwFsOhGycD0AHB01b4zcQSUj1Pnm6AY3Rv_arjZRP75Z0IRGawOoQArh9ZU-uk_uIw1I9ipZJc2sgOS2_EHjyB78xuB3JudC6Xdip_kmFeERrO6sSo9DkpR_N_d66G7RyrcIinjB5dhn3IUZPBIyT9TagDr960cKrPHErGfkss/s320/Strategy%20model.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Simplified example 'synergy' model (C) CT-S</span></td></tr></tbody></table>One of the things I have noticed with strategy development in some charities is that there can be a 'missing link' between operational delivery and fundraising strategy. By that, I mean that the financial need hasn't been linked closely to the beneficial outcome. That sounds crazy, but sometimes a fundraising target is set as a percentage increase, rather than articulated as "£x would enable us to deliver...". <p></p><p><b><br /></b></p><p><b>There is nothing more motivational to fundraisers, and indeed donors, than the impact of the charity's work. </b></p><p><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2228;">I start with the ‘<b>Why</b>’. This enables me to identify
the case for support before I even begin looking at the strategy. Once
you have the Why clearly articulated, strategy development can begin. </span></p><p>My first action is then an audit<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2228;">: what has already been done, how has it performed, what is happening in the sector? This gives context to the plans that will evolve from creating clear objectives (the <b>What</b>, defined by the Why) and provide insight into which tactics ('How') you will consider putting into the plan to deliver your objectives.</span></p><p>Objectives can be <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SMART_criteria" target="_blank">SMART</a> (and they can be stretch goals - 'wouldn't it be amazing if...'), but they also need to be agile . In these challenging times when we just don't know what will happen (pandemics, war, economic crises), having objectives that can be flexed is an advantage. Mixing your strategic approaches (see illustration) is also a wise move in uncertain times. </p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaD_Uwo3blKW_u3_K_Ihc8oZKl7NZ-XsQN9hX3KTxtDD1mV91_ko8CD2l2RAWtEakCy3nsjqgGu-jeoFRrdPzPNhZaI7BPOyCCWRVOG4QPcxIstHM__s-FpEPdmAFzFIrm9j5LypQti6cHggzCpCZJWEtIwTH3dgJrNPQE_h8vSas-fFWtkNE/s602/strategic%20approaches.png" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="220" data-original-width="602" height="146" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaD_Uwo3blKW_u3_K_Ihc8oZKl7NZ-XsQN9hX3KTxtDD1mV91_ko8CD2l2RAWtEakCy3nsjqgGu-jeoFRrdPzPNhZaI7BPOyCCWRVOG4QPcxIstHM__s-FpEPdmAFzFIrm9j5LypQti6cHggzCpCZJWEtIwTH3dgJrNPQE_h8vSas-fFWtkNE/w400-h146/strategic%20approaches.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Strategic approaches, from a presentation by <br />Cameron Cummings of <a href="https://jaa-media.co.uk/" target="_blank">JAA Media</a></span></td></tr></tbody></table><p>Before you get to your '<b>How</b>' (tactics you will use to deliver your objectives), getting internal buy-in and the collaboration - or even just understanding - of peers within the charity is also vital in ensuring success. This is the internal '<b>Who</b>', though you will also use Who to look at audiences.</p><p>If your senior management team understands your strategy and how it will impact their teams (whether fundraising or not), then you are more likely to achieve the outcomes you intend. It will also help as you plan the resources you need to deliver, as it is likely that you will need support from others that you do not directly line manage. </p><p>Make sure your tactics have a budget and a schedule ('<b>When</b>'). And 'When' can mean a longer-term <a href="https://dataro.io/2021/08/09/fundraising-roi/" target="_blank">ROI</a> or lifetime value, as well as a short-term income target. </p><p>I developed the fundraising strategy template I use from the Chartered Institute of Fundraising's Diploma training, but I have adapted it considerably according to cause and income stream. There's some resources below, but do talk to your peers in other charities too.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhT2sp6WH4-pfFzSIii3RRZQy2-nFPo_DBhazEy5Ig5iHFCTUYEQjbI0wS56qHXgCaWh-X7mi3mvoH9BbweHa9OezfvkZ33ru6waWprY2Kj7gnpbZiMye3tGzJS8_lNysSj9Pp1GL_3zPUOB2jcX3GpG92FALcggEt8m5gJNAbFqLXySyUd5rk/s472/Kipling.png" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="255" data-original-width="472" height="173" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhT2sp6WH4-pfFzSIii3RRZQy2-nFPo_DBhazEy5Ig5iHFCTUYEQjbI0wS56qHXgCaWh-X7mi3mvoH9BbweHa9OezfvkZ33ru6waWprY2Kj7gnpbZiMye3tGzJS8_lNysSj9Pp1GL_3zPUOB2jcX3GpG92FALcggEt8m5gJNAbFqLXySyUd5rk/s320/Kipling.png" width="320" /></a></div><b>Resources</b><p></p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://ciof.org.uk/IoF/media/IOF/Resources/Blogs/Developing-a-Fundraising-Strategy-for-Small-Charities.pdf" target="_blank">Chartered Institute of Fundraising - Strategy for small charities</a></li><li><a href="https://www.cafonline.org/charities/fundraising/fundraising-fundamentals/getting-started" target="_blank">Developing a Fundraising Strategy - CAF</a></li><li><a href="https://www.dsc.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/Masterclass-2-Developing-your-fundraising-strategy.pdf" target="_blank">Developing your fundraising strategy - DSC</a></li><li><a href="https://www.goodbox.com/2019/06/developing-a-fundraising-strategy/" target="_blank">How to develop a killer fundraising strategy - Goodbox</a></li><li><a href="https://www.brightspotfundraising.co.uk/" target="_blank">Wouldn't it be amazing if... check out Rob Woods, Brightspot Fundraising</a></li><li><a href="https://raw.london/planning-strategy-charity-campaigns/" target="_blank">RAW London - planning and strategy in charity campaigns</a> (includes presentation by Cameron, from JAA)</li><li><a href="https://jaa-media.co.uk/" target="_blank">JAA Media</a></li><li><a href="https://bright-spot.mykajabi.com/hospice-films" target="_blank">Hospice strategy resources from Brightspot Fundraising</a> </li></ul><div><br /></div><div><b>Liked this? Try...</b></div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2022/09/trust-in-charities.html">Trust in charities</a></li><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2022/05/mentoring.html">Mentoring</a></li><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2022/03/tales-from-fundraiser.html">Tales from a fundraiser</a></li></ul></div><p></p>ukfolkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127548363787460694noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25310370.post-37886186396545566342022-09-01T08:49:00.027-07:002022-10-25T05:37:01.014-07:00Trust in charities<p>In today's climate, the need for charities and their support is greater than ever. Food banks, money advice, even dog rescue, are busier than ever. But how do you know which charity to trust? There's often media stories that will overblow an issue, and there are also issues that go unnoticed. Here's my personal take on why we <u>can</u> trust charities, and how to make sure your gift counts. </p><div><b><span style="font-size: medium;">Scams</span></b><br /><p></p><p>Many people want to bypass the charity and donate direct to beneficiaries, but this can be challenging and also an opportunity for fraud. Some of the typical scams you will find are social media posts that feature a person (usually a child) or animal in need of a wish come true holiday/urgent treatment etc, with an appealing picture and a link to a crowdfunding site. Even for a genuine appeal, some scammers will clone the story/site and set something up that is so similar you wouldn't realise you weren't supporting the cause you thought you were.</p><p>Another scam is around door to door collection bags (see the <a href="https://www.sundaypost.com/news/scottish-news/the-great-charity-bag-rip-off-how-shady-firms-are-cashing-in-on-your-clothes-donations/" target="_blank">Sunday Post</a> example). Many charities use collection bags to get stock for their shops or to sell on and make an income this way, but some bags may look like they come from a charity (and even add that they support a charity), but may in fact be a commercial company or even a scam. </p><p><b><span style="font-size: medium;">Donating safely</span></b></p><p>Here's a couple of things you can do to check before donating to a charity or supporting a cause you've seen advertised in another way:</p><p><b>Collection bags and charity shops</b></p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span>Make sure there is a registered charity no. on the collection bag </span></li><li><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQBaaokPeYRq56AuRDCrG8iferc5ksNak3IlQgHIkhWk7pAeQinfd3u_-4vxw6mdARVwSSBg08nW0J_udVJpwfosL5UmDtjCCvV1ovR72KVEr4dtwA8NsOj-tZfEp-25X9UA3-QqQfcMhcG4in3n8zs0hEZwe0WWeiF6LbaI_QC56wFEHvKUQ/s1024/charitybags.jpg" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="722" data-original-width="1024" height="141" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQBaaokPeYRq56AuRDCrG8iferc5ksNak3IlQgHIkhWk7pAeQinfd3u_-4vxw6mdARVwSSBg08nW0J_udVJpwfosL5UmDtjCCvV1ovR72KVEr4dtwA8NsOj-tZfEp-25X9UA3-QqQfcMhcG4in3n8zs0hEZwe0WWeiF6LbaI_QC56wFEHvKUQ/w200-h141/charitybags.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Photo from <a href="https://www.sundaypost.com/news/scottish-news/the-great-charity-bag-rip-off-how-shady-firms-are-cashing-in-on-your-clothes-donations/" target="_blank">Sunday Post</a></i></span></td></tr></tbody></table>Make sure it matches the number on the charity's website</li><li>Check on the charity's website that they do door to door collections</li><li>If there's something that looks dodgy, then phone the charity</li><li><span>If you can, take your donated goods directly in to a local charity shop - as well as ensuring your goods reach the right destination, if you pay tax the charity could claim Gift Aid on the goods you donate, making your donation go further.</span></li></ul><p></p><p><span></span></p><p><b>Donating to a charity</b></p><p>If you know the charity personally, like a hospice or another local service, then this is great. It's easy to find out more because you will know someone who knows them well. But if you are not 'in the know', then you may want to find out more:</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Look on the Charity Commission website, using their <a href="https://register-of-charities.charitycommission.gov.uk/charity-search" target="_blank">search</a> function. You should be able to find the charity easily enough. You can filter your searches by area or, if you know it, by using the charity's registered charity number (which must be displayed on their website)</li><li>Type in your charity name or cause area (eg 'Pig Rescue' or 'Animal Rescue, Norfolk' for example) and a list of relevant charities will appear. With the first list that appears you can immediately see if a charity is late submitting its accounts which could mean you should look into them a little further</li><li>You can look at the charity's accounts which will tell you a lot more - don't worry if you can't 'read accounts', they usually have good explanations of their expenditure and impact</li><li>Search the web for any stories about the charity to make sure there are no current negative reports that should concern you. </li></ul><div><b>Telephone calling</b></div><p></p><p>If you receive a phone call from a charity asking for a donation, it must be a charity you already support - cold calling is not allowed in the UK. And if you don't want to be phoned, they have to respect your choice - just make sure they know your preferences (see below for some resources on how to stop mailings and calls). </p><p><b>Street and door to door fundraising</b></p><p></p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu9VHsR1GHOG6pXI3nizBw3DZ2I6gqfwZzC4ejRiISSt8zSRaSqerM97ugs_jhoTL1wwSR3V9oTRbmE4dOYbeYs-FQ-RsCKAXvZIkwpq81YqqKxGtbjXZAAzdGSWRksf6eKQB5szNln1vdFI3jYY7eH8u7A4qcplVeZhliCKgZyhDx76m5v_Q/s788/dogstrust.jpg" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="525" data-original-width="788" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu9VHsR1GHOG6pXI3nizBw3DZ2I6gqfwZzC4ejRiISSt8zSRaSqerM97ugs_jhoTL1wwSR3V9oTRbmE4dOYbeYs-FQ-RsCKAXvZIkwpq81YqqKxGtbjXZAAzdGSWRksf6eKQB5szNln1vdFI3jYY7eH8u7A4qcplVeZhliCKgZyhDx76m5v_Q/s320/dogstrust.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">(C) Dogs Trust</span></td></tr></tbody></table>This is a legitimate and highly successful form of fundraising, because it allows in depth conversation about the charity. But there are some scammers out there - so firstly check their ID badge. Does it look right? Does it have the current charity logo? Does it have the name and photo of the person holding it? Never invite a fundraiser into your home. If you need to go and get a bank card, etc, then close the door, they won't think you are being rude. You can also give the charity a quick phone too (using a searched number, not one they give you). Many charities (see the <a href="https://www.dogstrust.org.uk/about-us/fundraising/doortodoor/" target="_blank">Dogs Trust</a> example) will also have pages on their website showing you photos of the canvassers, and will always verify if they are in your area or not.<p></p><p>Most door to door and street fundraisers WILL NOT ask for cash (and may lose their jobs if they take it), so if they do, close the door/move on. You can always phone the charity to check, and make a donation then if you feel moved to do so; but let them know you met one of their fundraisers.</p><p><b>Donating directly</b></p><p>If you want to give a homeless person cash in the street, then that is your choice. If you want that homeless person to eat, then buy them a sandwich. If you want a homeless person to have the option of going into a night shelter, then donate to the night shelter. </p><p>If you see a social media post that really touches your heart - be very diligent in checking it out; don't just click and donate. If the post directs you to a JustGiving or Crowdfunder type page, firstly enter those sites separately and search for the cause independently. Secondly, search the cause catch phrase (eg 'Little Jonah needs a new heart') in your favourite search engine, with the word 'scam'. </p><p>Donating directly may feel like it's bypassing the 'overheads' of a charity, but charities are set up for good reason - because they are often the best way of delivering the service or benefit that you want to give to the cause you care about. I used the homeless example above - it's easy to donate directly to an individual in front of you, but how would you pay the staff in the homeless shelter who feed the guests? How would you go about funding something complex like medical research that needs scientific peer reviews? Charities are there to tackle some of the most challenging problems in our society and on the planet - they have huge responsibility and a huge impact. </p><p>If you are in doubt about any solicitation from a charity, then don't hesitate to look them up and phone them - they won't mind. Double check their website (and find it by a search, not using any links in an email) and give them a call.</p><p><b><span style="font-size: medium;">You can trust charities</span></b></p><p>This might seem like a scaremongering post, but it isn't. I want to increase trust in charities and make sure that your good will gets to do the absolute best it can for a cause you care about. Fundraising is regulated - but like any sector, it can be abused. Take care, and please keep giving.</p><p><b>Useful resources</b></p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://www.civilsociety.co.uk/news/regulators-warn-donors-of-fake-charities-as-pakistan-appeals-launch.html" target="_blank">Pakistan disaster - fake charity warning</a> (updated 2 Sept 2022)</li><li><a href="https://www.gov.uk/find-charity-information" target="_blank">The Charity Commission Register</a></li><li><a href="https://www.fundraisingregulator.org.uk/" target="_blank">The Fundraising Regulator</a> </li><li><a href="https://www.actionfraud.police.uk/charities" target="_blank">More scams - Action Fraud advice</a></li><li><a href="https://www.thirdsectorprotect.co.uk/blog/charity-fraud-2/" target="_blank">Charities can get scammed too</a></li><li><a href="https://www.friendsagainstscams.org.uk/" target="_blank">Friends against scams</a></li><li><a href="https://www.civilsociety.co.uk/" target="_blank">Civil Society</a> - includes reports on charities being investigated </li></ul><div><b>Your preferences<br /><br /></b></div><div>As well as contacting the charity directly, you can contact the following services to change how you are contacted by charities and commercial organisations too:</div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="http://fundraisingpreference.org.uk/home" target="_blank">The Fundraising Preference Service</a></li><li><a href="https://www.mpsonline.org.uk/" target="_blank">The Mail Preference Service</a></li><li><a href="https://www.tpsonline.org.uk/" target="_blank">The Telephone Preference Service</a></li></ul></div><div><b>Liked this? Try...</b></div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2022/05/mentoring.html" target="">Mentoring</a></li><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2022/01/think-before-you.html">Think before you...</a></li><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2022/03/tales-from-fundraiser.html">Tales from a fundraiser</a></li><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2018/09/field-day.html">Field day</a></li></ul></div><div><br /></div><div><b>I didn't like this...</b></div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://www.civilsociety.co.uk/news/chancellor-s-charity-pays-employee-almost-70-of-the-charity-s-annual-income.html" target="_blank">Chancellor's charity pays its only employee 70% of it's income</a></li></ul></div><p></p></div>ukfolkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127548363787460694noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25310370.post-67770145007947448842022-07-15T08:35:00.003-07:002022-07-18T04:12:12.565-07:00Don't defer diagnosis<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBBZbAmYbBA5Y_Y5r7CqwMiszWqYhw3NfIlTfxmWvTeGW3w3awLPCOwF5SMu55dNezaQeEpNC4yiMxEkBf1vUqHCpze3ittCYFd1rtuAbyfzo8HpJVaw90aiRnz8GwwlMhu58k-G_ZGOnaAzU0Xelvbd0kgHLMI6zdHA4fOXlos1wTFWr4aPY/s1030/dealing-with-procrastination-1030x579.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="579" data-original-width="1030" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBBZbAmYbBA5Y_Y5r7CqwMiszWqYhw3NfIlTfxmWvTeGW3w3awLPCOwF5SMu55dNezaQeEpNC4yiMxEkBf1vUqHCpze3ittCYFd1rtuAbyfzo8HpJVaw90aiRnz8GwwlMhu58k-G_ZGOnaAzU0Xelvbd0kgHLMI6zdHA4fOXlos1wTFWr4aPY/s320/dealing-with-procrastination-1030x579.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Have you put off going to the doctor because you are worried about the diagnosis or think you shouldn't bother others? I have. Have you ever said any of the following? I'd be surprised if you haven't:<p></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">"I'll leave it for now",</span> <span style="font-family: verdana;">"I'm sure it'll get better in time"</span>, <span style="font-family: georgia;">"I'll get round to eventually",</span> <span style="font-family: courier;">"yeah, but I have to... first". </span><br /></p><p>Here's a quick list I'd like you to read and consider carefully. Put aside your 'yeah but...' and put yourself first. </p><p>1.<span> You are not 'wasting' the doctor's time with a symptom. However minor it might seem, if it is a marker for disease (eg blood in your urine or faeces, unusual persistent pain or anything else which you know is just not right for you), then tell your doctor and get an appointment</span>. Insist if you have to.</p><p><span>2.<span> Attend all your scans and tests, no matter how uncomfortable or unpleasant. A scan or smear etc can detect something that you can't see or feel. You are not wasting time by attending these appointments, in fact you could be saving more than just time.</span></span></p><p><span><span>3.<span> Get on with it. It's very simple - the earlier something is diagnosed and can be treated, the more chance you have of living a longer, healthier life. </span></span></span>And remember, early diagnosis may also mean you can sigh with relief that whatever has been bugging you is, in fact, something easily treatable.</p><p><span><span>4.<span> Have a regular 'feel'. A small lump could be something as simple as a cyst, and if it's anything else, the sooner it is attended to, the better. You know which bits of you to check, I'm just reminding you to do it regularly.</span></span></span></p><p><span><span><span>5.<span> Getting a diagnosis can be scary, but it's also vitally important as early diagnosis has such an impact on the outcomes. </span></span></span></span></p><p>6.<span> The shock of diagnosis (for you or a family member) can be huge.</span> This is perhaps the hardest to get your head around, but is very important: take control - work with your clinicians, friends and family, with support groups and charities. Diagnosis is often a 'first step' in your journey, and everyone takes a different path. Your preferences and wishes should be listened to by all involved in your care. </p><p>7. Treatment can be challenging, but it may mean the difference between all your friends and family being there for your next birthday, or for your funeral. Treatments for different conditions are highly personalised these days so someone else's experience may not be a good compass for your journey. </p><p><span><span><span><span><span>8.<span> It's OK to ask stupid questions. And it's OK to ask them more than once.</span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span><span><span><span><span><span>9.<span> You are not alone. You never know who else may understand what you are going through - share (in the right way, with the right people, in a way that suits you). You will be amazed who comes out to support you.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><i>I was prompted to write today not only because of my own experience, but because I read about a family who has had their child diagnosed with a life limiting condition. The diagnosis (which they did not delay) has shattered the family and they were frozen with fear. Nobody wants a diagnosis that casts such a shadow over their lives, it's out of human control, it's almost mind-bendingly difficult to assimilate. But others stepped in to seek help. In reaching out, their journey is no longer quite so desolate - there will now be someone there with them, with a lamp to help light the difficult path ahead. </i></p><p><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Useful links</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/cancer-symptoms/how-do-i-check-for-cancer">How do I check for cancer?</a></li></ul><p></p><p><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Liked this? Try...</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2017/07/four-wounds-and-bruise.html">Four wounds and a bruise</a></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></li><li><span><span><span><span><span><span><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2019/03/attitude-and-examination.html">Attitude and examination</a></span></span></span></span></span></span></li></ul><p></p><p><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Photo courtesy of </span></span></span></span></span></span></span>https://greatpeopleinside.com/dealing-with-procrastination/ </p><p>Author's note: after my first draft of this post, I went through and took out all the 'don't' statements. It's too easy to list what not to do - I hope turning it into what we 'can' do reads better.</p>ukfolkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127548363787460694noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25310370.post-42270778352715032032022-06-30T08:47:00.004-07:002022-06-30T08:47:50.355-07:00Goosemilk and goatfeathers<p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Hail!” The King looked bored by the formal
salutation the slave yelled loudly, as if to give it more gravitas than his
voice could naturally command.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But said
in that ridiculous Southern accent, the King couldn’t help but smirk behind his
hand.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">“What news from the valleys,
slave?” He knew full well the man’s name was Garrad, but it was part of his
policy of remaining aloof to know the names of, but not to acknowledge, the
more strategically useful of his inferiors.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">“Oh mighty King, ruler of the
four lands, giver of hope and...” the King peered at Garrad and leaned forward
in his throne rather menacingly.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">“Just tell me the news, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">slave</i>.”<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">Verging on panic, Garrad cleared
his throat and stood up as straight as he could.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His beautiful bronze skin shone like a
tiger’s pelt in the streaks of sun that dived through the long gaps in the
stone that served for windows.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">“There is trouble in the South,
oh great one.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A harrumph from the King
prompted Garrad to continue rapidly.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">“There has been a plague of dust
that has coated the corn, and the crops wither.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The King’s brows furrowed, his pale cheeks
beginning to redden with anger.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">“Oh my King, we have done all we
can, we have prayed to you for rain to wash away the dust, but in the South
we... we did not expect the ...” the King shifted in his seat and leaned even
further forward. Seated a meter above Garrad on his high throne, the effect was
mortifying.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Garrad stuttered <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">“we, we, we don’t know why but
the rain won’t come. And, and and..” the King’s patience was growing thin and
Garrad feared that it may be the messenger who was blamed for the message.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His brief, uneventful life seemed to be
standing by his side in the form of a miniature of himself, laughing and
pointing as if to say ‘and it all comes down to this?!’<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">Garrad fell to his knees. “We
have no taxes to bring you – the crops have failed. Our people are
starving.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The King sat back, his face
clearing a little as he entered a realm of slightly more considered thought.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Garrad trembled before him, as he should, his
eyes cast to the ground.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">“And... my King...” the Royal
brows furrowed again, wondering what other disaster this petty excuse for a
human being wished to lay upon his beloved King!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“the animals are behaving oddly.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He said the last almost in a whisper so that
the words drifted up like the motes of dust caught in the shafts of sunlight.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">There was a deathly quiet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It must have lasted ten or more seconds – but
to Garrad it felt like the time it took for a sword to descend upon his poor
neck.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But no physical blow was
received.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just a jolt as the King
quietly, and most penetratingly, asked one simple question:<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">“And what do you mean by that?”<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">Garrad looked up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With what he had seen over the last month,
and on the week long journey it had taken to reach the King, he realised that
there was nothing more he could fear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
stood, brazenly, and looked the King as close to in the eye as he could whilst
looking up at such an angle.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">“My King, strange things have
happened. First the dust, then the heavy clouds that hang over us but do not
rain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The skies are dark and the air
is...” Garrad didn’t quite know how to explain it – his vocabulary was fine
when it came to cattle, to crops, to people. But this was something more, he
felt, within the realm of the Priests and beyond his understanding let alone
his ability to explain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He did his best.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
“The air tastes wrong. The animals are unhappy and they are behaving
differently.” The King remained quiet. Garrad was not sure whether this was a
good sign or the calm before the storm, but he knew he had to explain why he
brought no taxes from the South.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Garrad
continued “the animals are also changing.” He paused.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This would take some explaining. He wished
now that he had brought more than one of the geese with him to show the King
just what he meant, but the animal had died shortly after he left the South and
its corpse had spoiled so quickly it was not possible even to eat it!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">The King leaned down “What do
mean?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Garrad gulped anxiously, but
stood his ground. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">“The animals are ... “ (he didn’t
know the word ‘metamorphosing’, it would have been helpful if he had) ”...
doing weird things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are changing
shape, and growing feathers and fur and just not behaving normally!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our village elder was attacked by a chicken
that grew fangs” Garrad’s voice faltered as he realised how ridiculous he
sounded.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">The King sat back. A smile played
across his face. Ah... so this was how the South were going to get out of their
tithe!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A tall story; did they really
think he’d fall for such nonsense?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">Garrad continued to ramble,
talking of goosemilk and goatfeathers, hens teeth and mares nests. The King
made a discreet signal to his guards (who were permanently stationed behind the
plinth upon which his majestic throne rested).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">“Take him to the torture
chamber.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And when he is suitably
reminded of to whom he is speaking and whom he serves, find out what he and his
Southern scum have done with our tithe.”<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">This was duly done, and poor
Garrad died far more quickly than his torturers anticipated, giving them angst in
anticipation of the King’s anger.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">“My King,” the head torturer
said. “We have found all we need to know from the slave Garrad.”<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">“Who?” the King asked nonchalantly,
as if it was of no great concern, though in fact he was more than a little
worried that the camel trains of grain had not arrived as usual.<br />
“The slave from the Southlands.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
King raised an acknowledging eyebrow. “We have learned that he has traded with
the foreigners from the Great Continent. They have taken your tithe!”<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">The King frowned (a popular look,
for him).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Does this mean war,
then?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was not actually asking the
torturer, more asking himself rhetorically.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>After a few moments consideration, he said<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">“Go to the Guard. We will venture
South and take what is rightfully ours!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The Head Torturer disappeared quickly, eager to fulfil the King’s wishes
and glad that he himself had not been subject to a more thorough inquisition.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">The King did not go with the army
to the South. But in time he did hear of the clouds that hung over the southern
lands, and strange stories of animals - and the people themselves - behaving
most unnaturally.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Few of the regiment he
sent returned, and those that did brought such stories as to beggar
belief.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But he still wanted his corn,
for the lords and dukes of his City needed feeding.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Perhaps, he thought, they could drink
goosemilk?<o:p></o:p></p>(C) Carolyn Tyrrell-Sheppard - originally written in 2016<p></p><p>Liked this? Try...</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2021/06/the-step-well.html">The step well</a></li><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2021/05/writing-circle-fun-time.html">Henry's present</a></li></ul><p></p>ukfolkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127548363787460694noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25310370.post-14265926939737279202022-05-19T09:02:00.003-07:002022-05-19T09:02:34.675-07:00Memory triggers<p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3LJ9v4c8CjhKRclb0_yquaIp9C_8vcXNSO_1QlCYyJuTWZuqNNJg-wJXiRYNdqv8SwmTW-faqU-M4IGi8OVnDWYkPfPLiBsnGAFFhJ7ucjDOERdgoMrIPVHwNoABVHZHGmXL9ciQ9YHcqNCCgC2TLBeqqCvuEflr-GEOZ8pH9wt3yeiIFkoI/s2976/Kempton%20Bunton%20Getty%20Image.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2343" data-original-width="2976" height="158" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3LJ9v4c8CjhKRclb0_yquaIp9C_8vcXNSO_1QlCYyJuTWZuqNNJg-wJXiRYNdqv8SwmTW-faqU-M4IGi8OVnDWYkPfPLiBsnGAFFhJ7ucjDOERdgoMrIPVHwNoABVHZHGmXL9ciQ9YHcqNCCgC2TLBeqqCvuEflr-GEOZ8pH9wt3yeiIFkoI/w200-h158/Kempton%20Bunton%20Getty%20Image.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">The real Kempton</span></td></tr></tbody></table>I took my mother Sally to see '<a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt11204094/" target="_blank">The Duke</a>' - a film about Kempton Bunton, and the theft of the famous painting of the Duke of Wellington by Goya. It was a lovely film set in the 1960s. It was fun to see the original footage of the 60s, with Jim Broadbent added, and the whole timbre of the film gave you a real sense of the period.</p><p>At one point in the film, a reference was made to the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dr._No_(film)" target="_blank">Dr No</a> film (which briefly showed the painting, implying maybe Dr No stole it!), and Sean Connery, suave and smooth as ever, gives it more than a passing glance.</p><p>Mother and I thoroughly enjoyed the film, and on driving her back home, it had obviously triggered lots of memories. "He took me in his arms and kissed me" - she was referring to Sean Connery who, in his early days, used to regularly drink in a pub in London frequented by actors (including my dad amongst others). "What did dad say when Sean snogged you?" I asked. "Oh, he did it nicely; he kissed all the girls." </p><p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLHa_jZRFt5otiKG1LCDADI6qqraW2E5ifHe3HJPl6ogr5rUL51-YSiN3TbzTuAJDxYkaYR8PMRChXlbi_nWOZJDE-qKo15NSmhjbXHu3_iwSsFk5dePDiPm70Ak0qHqVrjH495bViiiIBFZdAlrv5YGD_qxpxxA4GYUaCJtJfjMBv3Y-3wuI/s873/Connery.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="873" data-original-width="564" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLHa_jZRFt5otiKG1LCDADI6qqraW2E5ifHe3HJPl6ogr5rUL51-YSiN3TbzTuAJDxYkaYR8PMRChXlbi_nWOZJDE-qKo15NSmhjbXHu3_iwSsFk5dePDiPm70Ak0qHqVrjH495bViiiIBFZdAlrv5YGD_qxpxxA4GYUaCJtJfjMBv3Y-3wuI/w129-h200/Connery.jpg" width="129" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Connery in the 60s</span></td></tr></tbody></table>Mother has often said that Sean was a great one for networking and drinking with the 'right people', whilst my dad came home to his wife and (by the mid 60s) his two children. Is that why my dad was less successful than Sean? Well, maybe the looks had something to do with it too. </p><p>The memories continued, and she reminisced that Alec Ross had been dad's best man at their wedding. She went to Alec and Sheila Hancock's wedding on the train, with Sheila's agent, Miriam (and she can't remember the surname). She thinks Anthony was away at rep somewhere, and met him there. </p><p>Years later my dad, Anthony, saw Alex, and he ignored him. It wasn't long after that Alec passed away - too young. Sheila, however, is still going strong today - and I wonder if she remembers Sally?</p><p>I must do more to capture Sally's stories, she started her career at Stratford working with Sir John Geilgud and Richard Burton, Vivien Leigh and ... she drops so many famous names that I have to sweep up afterwards! </p><p>Liked this? Try...</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2006/05/dr-who-monsters.html">Dr Who monsters</a></li><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/search/label/Danny%20La%20Rue">Danny La Rue and Marty Feldman</a></li><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2020/06/grandparents.html">Grandparents</a></li></ul><p></p><p>Apologies to the copyright owners of the photographs, I couldn't identify original sources. </p><p><br /></p>ukfolkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127548363787460694noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25310370.post-11397160289300555762022-05-11T01:23:00.000-07:002022-05-11T01:23:17.299-07:00Mentoring<p>I'm an 'old hand' in the fundraising world, I started in the not for profit sector back in the 90s! I've worked in higher education, conservation, medical research and emergency medicine charities, and all have been unique and invaluable experiences. I've focused on individual giving, but also done major donor fundraising, legacy marketing, trusts and foundation fundraising, and a little bit of community and corporate fundraising. I was writing in the fundraising media about GDPR in 2014 (trying to raise awareness of what was coming), and been a compliance champion both for data protection and gambling regulations (for charities). In other words, I've had a very well-rounded fundraising career to date. </p><p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYjlV39uW2JzD4RGj2aKUvjqGfUvvCa42qFKkrRGGphKa_r5tcA5aX-m_UZtWCFdo-CD5Fatr--WjzOCZ5wEgihoIn8LbNeGPmNyqiZR4iorGLOu8HWh0xWujqCGSYZM35ESzBVRbictmdHWrMq3GAUDRTyYevl9BUobBit7eLK9S-kvu0bS0/s2048/pallet%20making.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYjlV39uW2JzD4RGj2aKUvjqGfUvvCa42qFKkrRGGphKa_r5tcA5aX-m_UZtWCFdo-CD5Fatr--WjzOCZ5wEgihoIn8LbNeGPmNyqiZR4iorGLOu8HWh0xWujqCGSYZM35ESzBVRbictmdHWrMq3GAUDRTyYevl9BUobBit7eLK9S-kvu0bS0/s320/pallet%20making.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I don't just do fundraising</td></tr></tbody></table><br />I'm not bragging, I'm setting out the scenario for why I have been mentoring other fundraisers for some time. My most recent mentee was in major giving; I was asked if I would support them by their director. I have to say it was a hugely rewarding process because discussing plans, ideas, and results with a different charity (and a different role to my current one) not only helped the mentee but also helped me think more about my own role and charity. The mentee did extremely well and I saw their confidence grow rapidly. Our mentoring partnership has now finished and they have moved on to another charity. I know the mentee is happy, but not sure about their director - I don't think developing them out of the organisation was the plan.</p><p>But that, again, is what I love about the charity sector. We see the benefit in developing individuals who continue to contribute to the sector - who grow, and in turn grow the charities they work for, which - in the end - benefits everyone.</p><p>If you are considering mentoring, don't worry about whether you are expert enough - the conversations will soon show you how you can add value. And most of all, mentoring is as rewarding for the mentor as it is for the mentee. </p><p>There are plenty of resources out there advising how to select a mentor, the dos and don'ts of mentoring, and how to record and track progress (eg goal setting, stretch goals, habit forming goals etc). It doesn't have to take a lot of time - an hour a month perhaps.</p><p>Please consider mentoring, and not just in your discipline - you will be amazed how you can support others and watch them grow, and enjoy your own development too. If you think you'd like to be a mentor, or have a mentor, then talk to your network, talk to your HR manager, but never be afraid to ask.</p><p>Useful links:</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://ciof.org.uk/learn-and-develop/career-development/mentoring" target="_blank">Chartered Institute of Fundraising Mentoring Programme</a></li><li><a href="https://blog.mentorloop.com/" target="_blank">Mentorloop software</a> (a good blog on mentoring)</li><li><a href="https://www.cipd.co.uk/knowledge/fundamentals/people/development/coaching-mentoring-factsheet" target="_blank">CIPD mentoring factsheets</a></li></ul><p></p><p>Liked this? Try...</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2022/03/tales-from-fundraiser.html">Tales from a fundraiser</a></li><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2014/11/what-difference-word-makes.html">What a difference a word makes</a></li></ul><p></p><p><br /></p>ukfolkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127548363787460694noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25310370.post-85018038742296128622022-04-06T07:16:00.000-07:002022-04-06T07:16:25.417-07:00Two farewells and a welcome<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIiZZTOwL8fi_I-t8lT11YMrdIRnKKzskIxXKohd4VWzLf7hRQl1yaGmp2IS4FJJC-C0qjSkXIQtzNwvNNUGzrSuYy2n-Q7xZLX_yjJr3DS0d3XlJJFXPDLLtsC6lPxV-xjnsDy7OtZg_UGPYJPTKFbg51jIBTYNQLBt4jA0nBYObkvppPsgU/s800/45768621141_7185c82c06_c.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="800" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIiZZTOwL8fi_I-t8lT11YMrdIRnKKzskIxXKohd4VWzLf7hRQl1yaGmp2IS4FJJC-C0qjSkXIQtzNwvNNUGzrSuYy2n-Q7xZLX_yjJr3DS0d3XlJJFXPDLLtsC6lPxV-xjnsDy7OtZg_UGPYJPTKFbg51jIBTYNQLBt4jA0nBYObkvppPsgU/s320/45768621141_7185c82c06_c.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>My first farewell is to my wonderful son. He has gone to Australia to be a fully fledged citizen. He's got the long floppy blonde hair, he can surf, and everything! Although I am of course sad that my son won't be just two hours away by car, I am so excited and pleased for him. He is going on the sort of adventure that, if I was just a little bit younger, I'd love to go on myself. He has a lovely partner, an amazing Australian family who have made him one of their own, and a whole exciting future to plan and enjoy. And, of course, we will get to go and visit him. I can't wait to get to Australia again and see more of that amazing country - and of course get to see my son. I may even visit Judy, my 'cousin' - the granddaughter of my father's half-brother who emigrated when he was just 16. <p></p><p>With Alex leaving for Australia, our final ties to the market town of <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Royston,_Hertfordshire" target="_blank"><br />Royston</a> have been severed. The little house that I loved renting, and then provided a home for Alex too, has gone back to its owner, and the kind neighbours and friends we made are left behind. But I have so many happy memories - not just of the last few years, but of the many I spent in that town where my children grew up and where I was a PTA committee member (two schools), a member of the local Writers Circle, and generally a happy resident. Royston is special in its own way - it is on the crossroads of two ley lines, the Greenwich Meridian and the two oldest Roman Roads in Britain. There is the unique Royston Cave, lovely Priory Gardens (where my children learned to cycle) and - once upon a time - there was a swimming pool and cinema. Royston changed, I changed, we all change. Although I also spent some dark time there, the familiarity of the town and the people in it was a comfort then. My memories of Royston will be good.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjseFp7BhaTzz3tfNdOKrUxs_f7WdpuCoSzVumV5AonBFX2MW75nWuN-oWQ9UyGU9f0upF_wUbDAiMH-H_WZRMYwpffJz89wims2VTTJjSf5V9493dHg-FU0p7yeT3E8AhPp857-rcuZ0RmUsG8yrdz3N-XfOTrFykAVos_8_zxLsYbXLv_gTA/s1024/Arabella4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1024" data-original-width="768" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjseFp7BhaTzz3tfNdOKrUxs_f7WdpuCoSzVumV5AonBFX2MW75nWuN-oWQ9UyGU9f0upF_wUbDAiMH-H_WZRMYwpffJz89wims2VTTJjSf5V9493dHg-FU0p7yeT3E8AhPp857-rcuZ0RmUsG8yrdz3N-XfOTrFykAVos_8_zxLsYbXLv_gTA/w150-h200/Arabella4.jpg" width="150" /></a></div>My final welcome is to my second grandchild, a little girl born in February. There is nothing that marks time passing like children. You can be married for years and nothing seems to change, but have a child and every month milestones are reached, and you notice the weeks, months and years. You have a comparison in your life that is unmatched. My babies are adults, my daughter a parent herself, and I am delighted to welcome this beautiful little girl.<p></p><p>These are hard times. There is a war on which I fear is only the start of bigger, and worse, things. There is more financial pressure on families and the economy than there has been for generations. Covid is still here and very present, and still making people ill and taking lives. I have a limited contract of work and will be job hunting again soon. Nothing stays the same. </p><p>At times like this, when there are so many dark clouds on the horizon, then I look to the good things in my life; I have a job now, I have a wonderful (albeit far flung) family, an amazing wife, I live in a beautiful place and have many good friends. Things may change, things will change. This is life. Treasure it. </p><p>Liked this? Try...</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2011/10/letters-to-my-brother.html">Letters to my brother</a></li><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2018/11/adelong-morning.html">Adelong morning</a></li><li><a href="http://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2018/11/yarrongabilly.html">Yarrongabilly</a></li></ul><p></p>ukfolkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127548363787460694noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25310370.post-58766091108819592982022-03-08T04:07:00.002-08:002022-03-08T04:07:38.660-08:00Tales from a fundraiser When working for a dementia charity, I oversaw training our agencies, including telephone fundraisers. This was way before the pandemic, and even before GDPR, so we could meet in person and could ‘cold’ call using data that had been sourced with the right permissions. <div><br /></div><div><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgKwDm7gDLGsG3mNS0IdDtdkIY37wyM7zhCLBAVjx15Wmcrf3cMwtrHHtGpHKcREBomBg7CpxJ5Cx470eukB7wKbtz5G7oN4wfEaF59tijUKxiAy3mRkK64-5PvueYUl9GsenthlfuS77l4jSFuxuLTWYzG435YtfFIhjXFYzhiyxLjcK5Qi7M=s580" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="387" data-original-width="580" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgKwDm7gDLGsG3mNS0IdDtdkIY37wyM7zhCLBAVjx15Wmcrf3cMwtrHHtGpHKcREBomBg7CpxJ5Cx470eukB7wKbtz5G7oN4wfEaF59tijUKxiAy3mRkK64-5PvueYUl9GsenthlfuS77l4jSFuxuLTWYzG435YtfFIhjXFYzhiyxLjcK5Qi7M=s320" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Photo from <a href="https://engageemployee.com/big-data-big-boardroom-issue-skills-shortages-threaten-majority-projects/">EngageEmployee.com</a></span></td></tr></tbody></table>Before the callers arrived, I plugged in my presentation and set up the room. It was boardroom style. I took every chair in the room and turned it round – so the back of the chair was to the table. The callers came in and all looked confused, should they turn the chair round? Should they sit in it as it was?</div><div> </div><div>They milled around for a bit, and I said ‘Good morning. How do you feel?’ And they all replied “Confused” (by the chair positions) and asked me what they should do. ‘Sit down please’. Some sat with the chairs facing outwards, some sat and moved the chairs towards the desk, or towards me.
This confusion was exactly what I wanted to achieve. ‘Great,’ I said. ‘Now you get just the tiniest insight into how someone with dementia feels every day.’ I then went into my formal training presentation, starting with ‘how many of you know someone or have a family member with dementia?’ – sadly nearly all the hands went up. </div><div><br /></div><div>The chair rearrangement was a small ‘trick’, but it prefixed a highly successful calling campaign (one of the callers themselves became a donor). If you can get your fundraisers – whether they are agency or staff – to think from your beneficiaries’ perspective for even a short while, then you stand a much better chance of them being more invested in a positive outcome from their efforts. Which, in the end, is better for everyone - from the recipient of the call to the charity beneficiary. </div><div><br /></div><div><b>Useful links</b> </div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/" target="_blank">Alzheimer’s Society</a> </li><li><a href="https://www.alzheimersresearchuk.org/" target="_blank">Alzheimer’s Research UK</a> </li><li><a href="https://www.dementiauk.org/" target="_blank">Dementia UK</a> </li><li><a href="https://www.fundraisingregulator.org.uk/code/specific-fundraising-methods/fundraising-communications-and-advertisements#fundraising-by-telephone" target="_blank">Telephone Fundraising Code of Practice</a> (current)
</li></ul></div><div><br /></div><div><b>Liked this? Try...</b></div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2013/04/from-heartening-to-heartbreak.html">From heartening to heartbreak</a></li><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2015/12/boots.html">Boots</a></li></ul></div>ukfolkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127548363787460694noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25310370.post-1722427007359779292022-01-13T09:42:00.003-08:002022-01-14T01:25:00.356-08:00Think before you...<p></p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhPwdT19B-gRcXVHqm9l_ddJoC8OSkwF3xB_ADMeUYJNRSDKGinmZ3jAu5Yjgz8gZubaZD605u3X2jT5xEUouNEw23juAwOIk19ufVn18c6g124icLN-s9PFW0-aS6trHMO-CkwYI9OGtgRozJXynbUAvJ-EHyr-6QczXEmFiZUZnKEv4_i-J0=s818" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="545" data-original-width="818" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhPwdT19B-gRcXVHqm9l_ddJoC8OSkwF3xB_ADMeUYJNRSDKGinmZ3jAu5Yjgz8gZubaZD605u3X2jT5xEUouNEw23juAwOIk19ufVn18c6g124icLN-s9PFW0-aS6trHMO-CkwYI9OGtgRozJXynbUAvJ-EHyr-6QczXEmFiZUZnKEv4_i-J0=s320" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Photo (C) courtesy of MDUK</span></td></tr></tbody></table>I listened to a short radio interview today - a young woman with a muscle-wasting condition, talking about the 'microaggressions' she experiences as a person who uses walking aids. It really made me think - how often have you seen someone in a powered chair and thought or said 'Oh, I could do with one of those!'? And the person using it would have swapped with you in a heartbeat to not have a disabled body.<p></p><p>The term 'microaggression' is an interesting one, and I found this definition: </p><p>"<span face="Balto, Helvetica, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #4c4e4d; font-size: 18px;">They're something very specific: the kinds of remarks, questions, or actions that are painful because they have to do with a person's membership in a group that's discriminated against or subject to stereotypes. And a key part of what makes them so disconcerting is that they happen casually, frequently, and often without any harm intended, in everyday life."</span></p><p>Have I been guilty of microaggressions? Almost certainly. So how does it happen? This is my take: the unconscious bias kicks in, and the conscious tries to balance it out, and the result can be a microaggression that you are totally unaware of. </p><p>With unconscious bias, the key is to make it known - if you have an underlying and maybe even unrecognised prejudice (and we all have them, no matter how woke we may think we are!), then you are halfway to being able to think before you speak and hopefully avoid that microaggression. </p><p>Another thing that Louise said was about the 'pity smile' - a smile that is given which is born from another's attempt at empathy, but falls flat as a pancake. What I have taken away from Louise's conversation with <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m00139g1" rel="nofollow">BBC Radio Scotland</a> (listen from 1:45:30) is that I need to think before I make assumptions and not apply my values to someone else's situation without understanding or considering their perspective.</p><p>Learn more:</p><p><further info:="" span=""></further></p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000l29v" target="_blank">Walks Like a Duck - Louise on the BBC</a><a href="https://musculardystrophyuk.org/news-blogs-and-stories/stories/an-ever-changing-process-of-grief-and-loss" target="_blank">Louise on the MDUK website</a></li><li><a href="https://www.vox.com/2015/2/16/8031073/what-are-microaggressions" target="_blank">What exactly are microaggressions? Vox media</a></li><li><a href="https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/takeatest.html" target="_blank">Unconscious bias - Harvard's IAT</a> test (it's well worth taking!)</li><li><a href="https://twitter.com/videocounsellin" target="_blank">Louise on Twitter</a></li></ul><div>Liked this? Try...</div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2021/11/always-learning.html" target="_blank">Always learning</a></li><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2020/04/little-lifts.html" target="_blank">Little Lifts</a></li></ul></div><p></p>ukfolkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127548363787460694noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25310370.post-51551300640331346752021-12-31T04:14:00.001-08:002021-12-31T04:14:37.636-08:00It's nearly over<p>But it's only just beginning really.</p><p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhg9GyftrJH2lRgYOQYrdWct6vCRnxSFufJSemVCcqOyh68alOGV9sTJQYR2OZJtGfqqlFHNVsISxqu9IwjHOL68CCLvy52pfL-hK_Iiy9AwwAkN768HsKplyfLOktypjYEy5ihjTGEL4x-qB5k3viX-v0ihpvOmr56ZR3u6HPaxU761halAjI=s1440" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1440" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhg9GyftrJH2lRgYOQYrdWct6vCRnxSFufJSemVCcqOyh68alOGV9sTJQYR2OZJtGfqqlFHNVsISxqu9IwjHOL68CCLvy52pfL-hK_Iiy9AwwAkN768HsKplyfLOktypjYEy5ihjTGEL4x-qB5k3viX-v0ihpvOmr56ZR3u6HPaxU761halAjI=s320" width="240" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">My son and grandson</span></td></tr></tbody></table>2020 and 2021 have been challenging years in so many ways, but 2021 is nearly over and 2022 beckons. It's unbelievable really - the last few years have been so different. We will have to live with this new Covid world for some time, I believe, before it normalises into (what some already call it), a flu-like condition that we can treat and manage similarly. </p><p>This Christmas I was able to see my family - which is wonderful compared to last year when so many of us were locked-down and couldn't see those we love if we didn't live with them. My delightful grandson is nearly three, and in 6 weeks time I will have another grandchild. Well, more accurately, my daughter will have another child. And in February, 2022, my son will emigrate to Australia and become a permanent resident. He will join his wonderful partner who lives out there, and embark on a whole new life.</p><p>And what will 2022 hold for my wife and I? We don't know yet, but fingers crossed it's better than the last few years have been what with us both having cancer, and then the pandemic hitting us all.</p><p>So 2021 is nearly over, and 2022 is just about to begin, but most importantly every day is a day to be treasured. I treasure the time we spend together sitting quietly, or playing a board game, or cooking together. Walks in the woods with the woofers, playing our guitars together, even falling asleep in front of the TV. I treasure the moments with my family, my friends, and even strangers when we meet and share a moment, whatever that may be. </p><p>So for 2022 I wish you all peace, happiness and health, and for those of you who have lost a loved one, I send love and support. </p><p>Useful links:</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/tips-and-support/how-to-be-happier/" target="_blank">Six ways to feel happier (NHS)</a></li><li><a href="https://www.theministryofinspiration.com/" target="_blank">The Ministry of Inspiration</a></li></ul><p></p><p>Other posts in this blog: </p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2020/09/pond-life.html">Pond life</a></li><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2008/10/lost-in-loughton.html">Lost in Loughton</a> (before the days of satnavs)</li></ul><p></p>ukfolkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127548363787460694noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25310370.post-73318060981426709052021-11-26T09:46:00.006-08:002021-11-29T04:13:56.424-08:00Resistance is (not) futile<p></p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCOJw7B1iZOKjV-d94RFNd-vnspBwiMbL3iravMzJFZWWPuBlIRRV5WuMt_SL-5Sk_XgpBeN7jCXJbAIbiwn_LXYuOJpX_YXqnuXAqSHPK9GFLu2g0ExioXMZC6Fe6L432jfC4-Q/s960/resistance-is-futile.jpg" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="960" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCOJw7B1iZOKjV-d94RFNd-vnspBwiMbL3iravMzJFZWWPuBlIRRV5WuMt_SL-5Sk_XgpBeN7jCXJbAIbiwn_LXYuOJpX_YXqnuXAqSHPK9GFLu2g0ExioXMZC6Fe6L432jfC4-Q/s320/resistance-is-futile.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Picard <i>did </i>escape the Borg in the end.</span></td></tr></tbody></table>It's over a year since my surgery - since a large chunk of my lower bowel was removed, evicting <a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2020/09/on-26th-august-i-had-my-post.html">Gertrude</a> and her offspring. It's a year since <a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2021/03/living-with-ripley.html">Ripley</a> was introduced and I am now so used to it, I don't really think about her (until she makes a really terrible smell!). Abdominal surgery is pretty full on (ask anyone who's had a caesarean section) and recovery is slow. But at Ipswich hospital I was put on the 'enhanced recovery after surgery' programme which meant they tried to get me moving on day three (which would have been fine if I hadn't <a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/search?q=operation">collapsed</a>). <p></p><p>My initial exercise regime was walking the dogs, gardening and working my way slowly up to chopping logs. Though I was getting my fitness back (and I had lost weight thanks to Ripley) my core - those muscles that had been cut through to complete my therapeutic surgery - had about as firm a six pack as a <a href="https://factanimal.com/blobfish/" target="_blank">blobfish</a>.</p><p>Initially I started Pilates at our village hall. I still go every Thursday evening and (although I can't do the exercises laying on my front) I am definitely making progress. But a few months ago the Hospital called me - they have a pre-hab and re-hab exercise class for people who will have or have had bowel surgery.</p><p>The classes involve resistance bands and, I have to say, the first few sessions, even the warm up got my heart rate up more than I'd been used to since pre-surgery. There were only a few of us in the class - two of us post-op, and one pre-op (though more joined later). Each of us had a unique experience of surgery and recovery, including our instructor, but there is no doubt that every one of us benefitted from the class. I managed a couple of classes at our local swimming pool too (thanks to the <a href="https://www.macmillan.org.uk/in-your-area/local-dashboard/detail/Information%20and%20support%20centres/7874/John-Le-Vay-Cancer-Support-and-Information-Centre">John Le Vay centre</a> at Ipswich), but the new job meant I couldn't carry that on during the day sadly.</p><p>I'd never done resistance exercises before - but there was so much that was relatable with the breath training I'd done with <a href="https://www.jentiller.co.uk/">Jen Tiller</a>. I love it when things all tie up - <a href="https://www.healthline.com/health/asthma/buteyko-breathing-technique">Buteyko</a> breathing, <a href="https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/exercise/guide-to-pilates/">Pilates</a>, resistance exercise in swimming class and resistance band training.</p><p>Now I'm back at work, and though I sit at a desk all day again (instead of pottering around the house and garden), I find that I am improving my posture, breathing better, and still doing regular resistance and Pilates classes.</p><p>Resistance isn't futile - resistance is part of getting my fitness back and building confidence in my body. It may have had a serious run in with cancer and lost a large section of my insides, but I am alive, and kicking, and grateful for the care of the NHS, and the love of my wife and family. Resistance is futile in just this one instance - love. </p><p>Useful links:</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://www.macmillan.org.uk/in-your-area/local-dashboard/detail/Information%20and%20support%20centres/7874/John-Le-Vay-Cancer-Support-and-Information-Centre">John Le Vay Centre for Cancer Support at Ipswich Hospital</a></li><li><a href="https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/bowel-cancer/symptoms/" target="_blank">Bowel cancer symptoms</a> </li><li><a href="https://www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/coping/physically/exercise-guidelines" target="_blank">Exercise guidelines for cancer patients</a></li><li><a href="http://www.movemoreforhealth.co.uk">Move more for health</a></li></ul><p></p><p>Liked this? Try...</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2010/09/situational-awareness.html">Situational Awareness</a></li><li><a href="https://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2017/11/troublesome-angels.html">Troublesome angels</a> (short story)</li></ul><p></p>ukfolkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127548363787460694noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25310370.post-66922720200840522742021-11-15T07:58:00.001-08:002021-11-15T07:58:13.124-08:00Always learning<p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKXOW_l1wjttHWG1hRd3QbDY_bAPxBtqhOXThutjH9nWHD7_jFqiaH39TM5qXntPzInbfYf0o8foqCCVxBqS2W6KPnQtg5aKVqCH7Ne7Q85mfA2bNWWTDHCm8mu6Q48aczKhf1xQ/s1200/Dame-Kay-Davies-1170x545.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="545" data-original-width="1200" height="145" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKXOW_l1wjttHWG1hRd3QbDY_bAPxBtqhOXThutjH9nWHD7_jFqiaH39TM5qXntPzInbfYf0o8foqCCVxBqS2W6KPnQtg5aKVqCH7Ne7Q85mfA2bNWWTDHCm8mu6Q48aczKhf1xQ/s320/Dame-Kay-Davies-1170x545.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><div><span style="font-size: x-small;">Research - vital in finding treatments<br />for muscle wasting conditions (C) MDUK</span></div><br /></td></tr></tbody></table>'Always learning' is what I replied to a LinkedIn post asking 'what two words sum it up for fundraisers?" Because no matter what job I have had, I have always learned something new, and I've learned a lot more from recent interviews too. Each job I applied for I researched the charity, and for those that I interviewed for, I was privileged to talk to some of the team members and learn even more.</p><p>Last week I started a new role (a maternity cover) at <a href="https://www.musculardystrophyuk.org/" target="_blank">Muscular Dystrophy UK</a> (MDUK). And the learning for me is in full swing. I had no idea that ther are over 60 different muscle wasting conditions, and that muscular dystrophy is more of a collective term. The most common, or perhaps just the one I'd heard of, is Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy, and it is common in male children in the UK. It's scary to think that your newborn could end up with a condition that means reaching 30 years old would be an achievement.</p><p>The charity are small compared to some I've worked for, but the cause is big. 70,000 or so individuals with muscle wasting conditions in the UK, and their families - parents, grandparents, carers, siblings... they are all affected by MD.</p><p>I'm only her for 10 months, but while I am I am going to do everything I can to make the team I work for a success, and help raise income for the work of MDUK which includes research, support and information, advocacy and campaigning. </p><p>It's early days in the role, but I am always learning, and (I can't help it), always fundraising. I will be posting more as I learn more. </p><p>Liked this? Try....</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="http://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2011/11/charity-begins.html">Charity Begins</a> ... from November 2011</li><li><a href="http://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2016/10/proud-to-be-fundraiser.html">Proud to be a fundraiser</a> - from October 2016</li><li><a href="http://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2019/07/fundraisers-are-human-too.html">Fundraisers are human too</a> - from July 2019</li><li><a href="http://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2013/01/expect-to-pay-for-packaging.html">Expect to pay for the packaging</a> - January 2013</li></ul><div>Useful links:<br /><br /><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://www.musculardystrophyuk.org/conditions">MDUK - A-Z of conditions</a></li><li><a href="https://www.musculardystrophyuk.org/conditions" target="_blank">Changing Places map</a> (toilets for people with special access needs)</li><li><a href="https://www.raffleplayer.com/musculardystrophyuk/play" target="_blank">Play the MDUK Christmas Raffl</a>e (go on - you may win a prize and you will be helping people with muscle wasting conditions)</li><li><a href="https://raffolux.com/car/raffle/3944/2021_mini_one_classic/?charity_ref=33&riig=forwarded" target="_blank">Win a Mini raffle</a> - very cool prize!</li></ul></div><div><br /></div><p></p>ukfolkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127548363787460694noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25310370.post-31431390228144338592021-10-22T04:38:00.001-07:002021-10-22T04:38:04.722-07:00Change is in the wind<p>Thankfully, there is something good to have come out of Covid. Really? Yes - the flexibility of the workplace. Employers now realise that 'working from home' does not mean employees are being lazy or inefficient, in fact in many cases it means the opposite. You really can trust your staff.</p><p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTGkA6eiM_U3DEPPHlwEIS9hi6SpUoBgHhO80XEB4NS4LlplM3kuZ9Dzv-Jizml-K_UESCGnPwJtsRAd9OtmJhFAP0-A7698OAAsG8vfeCAFxFI3TeuyDgaM04HaDkaz8hyphenhyphen75NiA/s1080/shed.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="810" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTGkA6eiM_U3DEPPHlwEIS9hi6SpUoBgHhO80XEB4NS4LlplM3kuZ9Dzv-Jizml-K_UESCGnPwJtsRAd9OtmJhFAP0-A7698OAAsG8vfeCAFxFI3TeuyDgaM04HaDkaz8hyphenhyphen75NiA/s320/shed.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our new woodwork shed</td></tr></tbody></table>Technology of course has enabled home working in a number of ways, with easy ways to meet, chat with colleagues and have those 'coffee machine' moments even when you are not in the same building. But culture has a lot to do with it. </p><p>I went to an interview pre-Covid and asked whether home working was a possibility. The Trustee on the panel said 'We give plenty of holiday, home working isn't necessary'. Well, I was gobsmacked, and knew that the Trustee totally didn't understand the reasons or benefits of staff working from home. I wonder if they've changed their tune now?</p><p>After just about five years with <a href="https://www.eaaa.org.uk/">EAAA</a>, where my contract was home based (but I chose to go into both offices often, to connect with my team), I have had a few months off and now I'm going to help out a charity in London with a maternity cover post. </p><p>Travel to London from my home in the woods is at least a two and a half hour journey, so if it wasn't for the option of home working, I wouldn't have taken the job. But it's a great charity, and even though I'll only be there for 10 months, I'm looking forward to making a difference and helping them through unitl the post-holder comes back.</p><p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSICdcl2UJYDsNK8XbFPO4QD4941RDYyiEq9PCBRbySyyrKQT08uAqJJGqozdzpAx26ODf_sn0NudIke2upD6OJwixwOBxWBcFFV44xXBpNZPQw1NJ7K4XH2hhpgUfWGKUnyI_2Q/s1080/Bench.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="810" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSICdcl2UJYDsNK8XbFPO4QD4941RDYyiEq9PCBRbySyyrKQT08uAqJJGqozdzpAx26ODf_sn0NudIke2upD6OJwixwOBxWBcFFV44xXBpNZPQw1NJ7K4XH2hhpgUfWGKUnyI_2Q/s320/Bench.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We made the workbench</td></tr></tbody></table><br />Meantime my health is great (living with <a href="http://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2021/03/living-with-ripley.html">Ripley</a> is no problem at all), and I am probably fitter now than I have been for years. I go to Pilates every week, to an excercise class for post and pre cancer operation fitness, and I've started a swim class too. And, of course, I'm still chopping and shifting wood, making things (like our shed, love our shed!) and walking the dogs. </p><p>It's nearly a year since my surgery, and I am here, smiling, looking forward to a new job and enjoying married life. A positive outlook has got me through and I am going to carry on as best I can with that - no matter what.</p><p>Liked this? Try...</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="http://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2020/01/dont-load-their-gun.html">Don't load their gun</a></li><li><a href="http://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2018/02/wheres-fun-in-leadership.html">Where's the fun in leadership?</a></li><li><a href="http://ukfolkie.blogspot.com/2020/03/natures-gift.html">Nature's gift</a></li></ul><p></p><p>Useful links:</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://www.economist.com/special-report/2021-04-10">Economist's special report on the future of work</a></li><li><a href="https://www.wsj.com/articles/work-from-home-changed-where-innovation-happens-11634763139">Wall Street Journal on home working and innovation</a></li></ul><p></p><p>Photos (C) Carolyn Tyrrell-Sheppard</p>ukfolkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127548363787460694noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25310370.post-59490845111552385282021-09-29T04:55:00.000-07:002021-09-29T04:55:15.224-07:00Resilience<p><span color="rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.9)" style="font-family: Georgia, "Source Serif Pro", serif; font-size: 0.975em; font-style: var(--artdeco-reset-typography-font-style-italic);">I started writing a resilience article as a thought piece, but it felt very self-indulgent (which it was). In it I used an analogy, so instead of presenting my unsubstantiated opinion, here's a fictional story:</span></p><p></p><p style="background: white;"><strong><span style="color: black; font-family: "Source Serif Pro",serif; mso-color-alt: windowtext;">The waterfall</span></strong><span style="font-family: "Source Serif Pro",serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoW4P4-7usVc3O9fZC71h7o3rTXc7tgoBD9Opd5PNgl07EElkaXulGbw7i46MPXrf7j0VcseyuAN1a6aDswwWfa82sc2RoXOTe4aGQqZx7ICvrKHMhTjzfTbQnJig_HOcwb1a4MQ/s702/waterfall1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="295" data-original-width="702" height="134" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoW4P4-7usVc3O9fZC71h7o3rTXc7tgoBD9Opd5PNgl07EElkaXulGbw7i46MPXrf7j0VcseyuAN1a6aDswwWfa82sc2RoXOTe4aGQqZx7ICvrKHMhTjzfTbQnJig_HOcwb1a4MQ/s320/waterfall1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />The children and their parents stood at the bottom of the
waterfall. It was beautiful, the water rushing down, the rocks shining and
gleaming as the cascade tumbled past and clouds of water droplets shone in the
sunshine. Each side there were large boulders, suitable for climbing.
“Let’s go to the top!” said mother. The children looked excited. <div><br /></div><div>“No.” said father. “It’s wet and slippery, and could be dangerous.” Of course,
it would involve some risk – but with care the waterfall could be ascended
quite safely.</div><div> </div><div> “Come on,” said mother, feeling the risk was acceptable.</div><div> “No.” said
father. Unwilling to take a chance, however small, on any of them slipping. </div><div><br /></div><div>“I’ll go,” said mother, “and tell you what it’s like”. She climbed,
and it was safe – the rocks at the side were not wet and slick and were easy to
climb. She reached the top. She had assessed the risk and anticipated the
reward – and reward there was! The view was amazing – watching the cascading
water below and looking across the fabulous landscape at the top. </div><div><br /></div><div>“Come on up,”
she shouted down. “No.” said father and the children listened to him, because
they always obeyed their father, even though they could see mother at the top,
and how happy and excited she was, and they wanted to see and feel that too.
The children missed out on the view, and the experience. They may
have slipped, they may have bruised or even broken, but they never found out
how beautiful it was to feel the thrill of climbing a waterfall and reaching
the top. </div><div><br /></div><div><i>Do you think that we
protect our children too much, that we don’t teach them to manage risk but to
avoid it? Do you think this impacts their capacity for resilience and, long
term, mental health?After posting this on
LinkedIn – I was usefully directed to this by Josie Jacobs: </i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Source Serif Pro",serif; mso-color-alt: windowtext;">‘The
Gift of Failure’ by Jessica Lahey - which speaks directly to this issue. She
describes us as the generation that “invented over-parenting” - and despite our
best intentions, we are robbing our children of their failures and therefore
their learnings…and their natural resilience! When we take away our children’s
opportunities to fail and learn (FAIL = First Attempt In Learning no less!),
they never learn to trust their instincts and develop their innate resilience.
We are in fact a very resilient bunch but - true of adults too - we have all
lost touch with our own intuition. It’s not just parents but schools too - a
friend’s school has just banned football because people were getting hurt… what
about if we taught our kids HOW to play nicely or HOW to climb </span><span face=""Segoe UI Emoji",sans-serif" style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe UI Emoji"; mso-color-alt: windowtext;">🧗🏽</span><span style="color: black; mso-color-alt: windowtext;"></span><span face=""Segoe UI Emoji",sans-serif" style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe UI Emoji"; mso-color-alt: windowtext;">♂</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Source Serif Pro",serif; mso-color-alt: windowtext;">️ safely… both the boulders you speak of,
and this life?! </span><span face=""Segoe UI Emoji",sans-serif" style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe UI Emoji"; mso-color-alt: windowtext;">😊</span><span style="font-family: "Source Serif Pro",serif;"><o:p></o:p></span><br /><p></p></div>ukfolkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127548363787460694noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25310370.post-24610220540063237892021-09-15T10:25:00.000-07:002021-09-15T10:25:03.869-07:00Challenged!<p><i>My writing buddy Cathy and I were chatting on line and I said how nice it will be not to write about cancer for a chance. I asked her for a challenge, and she said to write a story for my grandson! So here goes... (this is written to be read aloud)</i></p><p><br /></p><p>Deep below the slippy slimy sludgy grunge, there lived a Blobby Grubber. Now you will have never seen a Blobby Grubber I'm sure, because you will never have gone deep below the slippy slimy sludgy grunge! The blobby grubber looks blue and green, like the slippy slimy sludgy grunge he lives below, so he can hide very quickly when the Gloop Monsters come. </p><p>If you tried to grab a Blobby Grubber you'd never succeed - they are squirmy and soft and can slide out of the grasp of almost anything! The other things that live beneath the slippy slimy sludgy grunge are the small and speedy Tiddflippers, and they flit about like little lightning bolts, their shiny neon stripes lighting up the dark world beneath the slippy slimy sludgy grunge turning it into a funfair of colour. There are also the Glup Truggers, which are fat and slow, and live on the bottom, clearing up the grungy bits that fall to the floor of the slippy, slimy sludgy grunge. The Glup Truggers were often chased by Gloop Monsters, so they would bury themselves in the grunge at thte bottom, and hide until the Gloopers had gone.</p><p>One particular Blobby Grubber, called Groop, lived a long time ago beneath the slippy slimy sludgy grunge and - he thought - what is above? He was a curious Blobby Grubber and wanted to see more of the world than his dark, slippy slimy world. But he didn't know how to get above the grunge, so, he needed help.</p><p>He asked the Tiddflippers if they ever went above the grunge, and they said no, there was too much fun to be had rushing around below. </p><p><i>OK - I have by no means finished this story. My question is - do you want me to? Every story should have a beginning, middle and end - but all I have here is the beginning. And there's lots of 'tell' instead of 'show'. But which is best for children's fiction? Any suggestions appreciated - please comment below!</i></p><p><i>If I had to illustrate this story, I just might use a blobfish....</i></p><p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL88uHXoSzLAg8RP1R9l9SzEEjnAP2EuZV_CqhQseIkZGbU6-oQDG9sQRdirkFbLMx5z6lWSx7h7hLM72ZOV1fcet_gtHBBfMHoRMy5XVa___kcAVRBwYOm4XQXmqIsJqGhPteLA/s1100/blobfish.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="737" data-original-width="1100" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL88uHXoSzLAg8RP1R9l9SzEEjnAP2EuZV_CqhQseIkZGbU6-oQDG9sQRdirkFbLMx5z6lWSx7h7hLM72ZOV1fcet_gtHBBfMHoRMy5XVa___kcAVRBwYOm4XQXmqIsJqGhPteLA/s320/blobfish.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #353434; font-family: Roboto, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: italic; text-align: left;">Photo Credit: Wonderopolis</span></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><i><br /></i></p>ukfolkiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02127548363787460694noreply@blogger.com0