Simple Guide to Mallorca

I went over to Mallorca again to visit mother and so that I could travel back with my daughter Melody, who'd been over for some weeks..

On the flight over I heard some kids talking 'So they talk Mayorceese do they? Spanish?' and I thought, well... not a lot of folks know much about Mallorca beyond the hotels and beaches on the holiday channels. So here's my simple (slightly tongue in cheek) guide

1. Is Mallorca part of Spain? Think of Mallorca to Spain like you do Wales to England. Own language, own culture, own history, but governed by the local 'big boys'. The Mallorcan (pronounced mayorkeen) language is a derivation of Southern Spanish language. So, like Welsh and Irish are both Gaelic languages, so Mallorcan is a Catalan language.

2. How do you tell the difference between a Mallorcan and a Spaniard? Not easy for visitors! The difference is accent is hard for a non-Spanish speaker to tell. But there are more blondes (natural) in Mallorca than in Spain. But be polite, do not assume everyone on the Island you speak to is Mallorcan or even Spanish. If you can, ask.

3. Are the natives friendly? I have found them to be so. When you walk down a small town street, people will say hello. Say 'Ola' to the younger generation, and 'Buenas Dias' to the older people (show respect). If you are in a really far flung place, where they may only speak Mallorcan, just smile.

4. Can I get egg and chips in Mallorca? Of course you can - there are plenty of English bars and places that will sell you all sorts of international foods - but if that's your cultural exploratory limit in cullinary tastes then forget going to this lovely island, pay for a few sessions at your local tanning club and stick with your local chippy.

5. What is good Mallorcan food? There is good Spanish fare and good Mallorcan food on the island. Fritos Mallocan are lovely - but bear in mind it is chips and liver! The rabbit and meat roasts are wonderful (not great for vegetarians). The traditional Spanish tappas, tortilla, paella and, of course, marvellous fish dishes from the ports are also highly recommended. Pan bolli (phonetic) is a plate and then lots of cold meats, salads, bread (the pan bit) and olive oil instead of butter.

6. Mallorca is just beaches and hotels. Wrong... it has some amazing beaches and some super hotels I'm sure, but it is an amazing island with wonderful mountains, fantastic little bays and ports and lots to explore beyond the pool and the hotel bar. If you can, go on trips away from your resort and explore what your locale has to offer - for example the Monastery at Lluc, the Cathederal and the Arab baths in Palma, the extraordinary caves and the wonderful architeture of towns like Alcudia and the beautiful Pine Walk in Pollensa. The island is a haven for those who are sailing enthusiasts, and anyone who loves the sea. Explore a little!

7. What is beach etiquette? The first thing that I notice is that the sandy beaches are accepted as one giant ashtray. Though they clean the beaches every night, you will find that everyone leaves their fag ends on the beach. This is disgusting. But the beaches are still cleaner and tidier than any English beach I've been on for a long time.

You may bathe topless at most beaches. I recommend if you want to that you don't sit next to another English family though - as long as no one knows you are English (or a visitor of any non-residential kind), then unless you have startlingly white skin (as per me) then no one will bother. If you are heard speaking English and go topless, they will think you are weird. This is just my take on it though... try it for yourself and see.

Dogs are mostly not allowed on the beaches. Watch out for the 'jellyfish flag' which means that there are jellyfish in the water and you may get stung.

8. What's the sea like? Wet. Apart from the odd jellyfish, it's pretty clean and warmish - though if you go into deeper water it can get quite chilly. Sometimes it can get quite rough, and there are hidden currents further out from the beaches, but make sure you follow beach safety rules wherever you go swimming. Little hidden beaches are wonderful, but make sure someone knows where you are and don't fall asleep on your inflatable and end up drifting towards Africa! There is some flotsam - but mostly weed and the occasional plastic bag; the latter is not the sea's fault.

Here's something that may be a surprise to you... There Are Fish In The Sea! Swimming in Illetas I love to snorkel over the weeds and watch the fish (I counted about seven different types, quite pretty). They also swim around you in the water but you don't know they are there. When returning to the beach after one little snorkling session I told a friend how wonderful the fish were. "You mean there are fish in here? I don't like the thought of that..." said one British woman. Der... it's the sea?

9. Do they like animals? Yes, especially roasted, grilled... but as a nation they seem to prefer dogs to cats. Cats are everywhere and a useful pest control population, but they need control themselves. There are many places where feral cats multiply and they are not the most hygienic of creaters. However, there are usually some ex-pat do-goders around who will either feed them or otherwise look out for these feral felines.

Dogs are everywhere and where I stay they are a nuisance... they bark day and night and the poop on the pavement doesn't get cleared up by owners. Dogs are used for guarding empty properties, dogs are companions and dogs are also taken into places like restaurants and shops, but not all.

10. Can I smoke in a bar in Mallorca? Of course you are not allowed to by law. Which means, broadly speaking, yes, if anyone else is. Restaurants have areas for smokers, bars don't seem as worried about the non-smoking regulations as they are in the UK, but for goodness' sake ask before lighting up.

11. Why should anyone go to Mallorca? Because the people are friendly, the architechture is amazing, the history is troubled and fascinating, the beaches are great, the sea is warm, the food is great (unless you are vegetarian) and the mountains beautiful. If you want to sit on the beach and suntan, you can. If you want to swim, you can. If you want to cycle or climb or run or explore - you can. There are water sports, land sports, equestrian centres, every kind of activity you could possibly imagine.

12. Why should anyone not go to Mallorca? If you want to avoid the English, German, Spanish or Smokers, this isn't the place for you. It is a hugely popular holiday and retirement destination. The island is crawling with expatriot residents who have happily lived there for 40 or more years and will still have strong opinions on the economy and government of their home country, even though they've not lived there or participated in the democratic process since they left. However, they do expect to be cared for by social services or the NHS when they return 'home'.

OK, a light-hearted look at Mallorca - but seriously, don't just book your hotel and flights and head for the beach. If you do, you will be missing out on a lot.

Entertainers needed for London Charity

Hi folks - anyone able to help with this request from Wendy?

"I am currently in the process of organising a firewalk to raise money for our charity. The Fawcett Society is the UK’s leading campaigning organisation in the UK which campaigns for equality between women and men.

We don’t have a budget for any entertainment, but having someone there to entertain the crowds would mean the event was much more than just a firewalk. I wondered if there was anybody that would donate their time for this event. It is happening on the 3rd December 2009, from about 5.30 in the evening in London, E1. In return we would promote them on all our materials, on our website and in any marketing that goes out.

It really would be amazing to have someone there, to bring the event alive!

I really want this event to be a success and am contacting anyone I can think of to ask for help! If you aren’t able to help then don’t worry. "

Many thanks

Wendy Hall
Business Officer

The Fawcett Society
1-3 Berry Street
London, EC1V 0AA

Our vision is of a society in which women and men enjoy equality at work, at home and in public life. Add your voice to our campaign! Join us at www.fawcettsociety.org.uk

Fawcett Society. A company limited by guarantee no. 4600514. Registered in England. Registered Charity no 1108769.

If you are interested in helping - please email me at carolyn (at) thecompletetrainer.com and I will forward your offer.

It's my turn to party!

Nadine's Blog Party features yours truly today!

She's put up some of my songs and has written a (flattering!) piece too. Go take a look - join in the party and win prizes ALL month!

http://www.nadinelaman.blogspot.com/

Bombs in Mallorca

I know the lovely Ballearic Island of Mallorca reasonably well, compared to most holiday destinations I've visited. Reason is, I go back there often as mother lives there part of the year. - in a small village above Palma.

My daughter is out there now, with her friends, with my mother. And the bombs, claimed by ETA (the Basque separatist group), are in places I know, places we've been. The first bomb killed two policemen and was a 'military' (establishment?) target. Subsequent bombs have been in tourist areas. But no tourists killed. ETA don't want that kind of publicity I guess - but see policemen as acceptable targets?

I don't know the politics - I think of Mallorca/Spain a bit like Wales/England. A separate cultural history, language, but subsumed (not always a negative) by the larger neighbour. But no matter what politics is involved, I can't accept bombing - even of static targets (buildings, things, not people).

Am I worried? Not really - I think statistically the chances of my family being hurt by a bomb in Mallorca are probably smaller than them getting hit by a car in our home town. But I'm a long way away, and that does hurt. Good thing I'm going out soon.

Blog Party!

It's a blog party! Sounds a bit like 'block party', doesn't it? And has some similarities - Nadine's Blog Party is bringing together bloggers from all over the world to have a knees up!

So much going on - I can't begin to cover it all here. The thing to do is visit Nadine's blog (First Draft) next week and join in the fun!

www.nadinelaman.blogspot.com

You can win one of my books (The Ghost Sniffer) on one of the days - check out Nadine's blog every day to see what you could win (and how!)

Painted Ladies!

Watch the painted ladies dance
In a gentle breeze
Their light lives
Flitting, fleet.
Let them stop to sup
And watch
As their wings
Stretch in the sun.

At least 12 painted ladies in my garden! Ah... but you know actually I mean butterflies, not any other kind, so it's not so bad. At one point I saw 14 butterflies on our buddlea, including Peacock, Painted Ladies, Red Admiral and Cabbage White.

Here's the Painted Lady in all her splendour. I spent ages in the garden today just watching them. the buddlea is collapsing on to the lawn and needs cutting back, but whilst it is host to such a glorious assortment of butterflies, bees, lady birds and other creatures, I can't bring myself to do it. Once it's finished flowering though...