So it's been a month since my last post, two more chemos done, and the reduced dose/change in meds has made a huge difference. I am still really tired and have a number of side-effects, but progress is being made. Mostly, as it happens, in my garden.
One of the challenges of cancer, and the treatment regime, is the emotional toll it takes on you - not just the physical one. And being in my garden has been very good for me. Although I get very tired and sometimes run out of energy, I've managed to be outside (weather permitting) almost every day.We've had a hot April with frosty nights so it's not been the usual gardener's calendar, but I've grown lots of plants from seed, and also (with help of course) converted a part of the garden into a mini-allotment where I have potatoes, peas and sweetcorn planted. When the frosts stop, my baby cabbages, sprouts and other veggies will go out there too.
I do a little at a time, and rest a lot, but being in the fresh air and sunshine, and going for (short) walks with the dogs in the forest has helped my mental health as well as my ability to cope with the physical demands of cancer.
I've made some planters for some of the veg and flowers, and although they lack finesse, they certainly do the job. I do like working with wood and will, when I have time/energy, start to deconstruct some more pallets so we can make more things for the garden.The next stage medically is a scan and then a review to see if I am actually cancer free now (hopefully). They will then decide how many more chemos I need - I've had five, and could have up to twelve. But it will depend on the scan results and also the levels of my side-effects. There is a balance to be struck between the medical benefit and the chemical impact.
The reversal operation for my stoma will probably not be for quite a while - there is a huge backlog of operations for the NHS and tmy surgery is not a priority. That's OK - I can live with Ripley a bit longer.
I want to get back to 'normal' (don't we all in these strange times), I really want to get back to work, back to living the identity that doesn't have 'Cancer' stamped all over it. But in the meantime I am enjoying the wildlife in my garden, and the satisfaction of growing (and eventually eating) our own produce.
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