Birthday and anniversary

Today is my 35th wedding anniversary. Hmm, must get round to sorting out that divorce...

Today is also my brother's 60th birthday. Happy birthday Phil.

Positive intention

Scary shoes...

Have you ever had one of those weeks when different sources all say the same thing? You know, you see a pair of shoes you like in a shop window, then you see a friend wearing them, then your favourite TV star has them on… so you think ‘those shoes are meant for me!'

Well, sometimes the messages you get are a bit more direct, and more important. I’ve recently been on a couple of self-development events. Now scoff you may, but self-development is simply the will to change something in your life, or in yourself, and actually doing something about it.

The interesting thing is that the two different courses had similar but different angles on the same message (not surprising perhaps). What is more interesting is that my fundraising training also had the same message, and the person closest to me is also saying the same thing.

It’s about time I listened and took some steps towards making the changes that I want.  Yes, I have actively pursued these learnings, so there is no coincidence perhaps, but what is coming through is a simple message. If I want to change, all I have to do is believe in what I want.

Forget the past, the hurts and the difficulties, I have to look forward and start moving towards what I want. Doesn’t matter if I never get there, I need to start moving in the right direction instead of standing still and looking about in a ‘woe is me’ kind of way. OK, maybe I’m not that defeatist, but taking an active step forward can be very difficult. Bugger it. I need to move forwards.

If only life were this simple...

And the other interesting thing is that this resonates so much with what I learned about leadership years back when I worked in learning and development. How can I have ignored all the messages that were so clear then, and yet not acted on them? Simple, I let the past cloud my progress. I let negative me win the arguments.

Well, stuff the past, and my negative voices - I have to learn to be present. That’s not easy though, not the least because I’m not really sure what it means. But more than that, I have to learn to dream. Just because one set of expectations or dreams were postponed, shattered or rewritten, doesn’t mean I can’t plan ahead for something different. "No use crying over spilt milk", comes to mind.

There’s no ‘magic bullet’, no moment of enlightenment for me, but a steady progress. If I want change in my life (and I do), then I have to envision what that is, and make it my intent. By that I mean if I want to lose weight, I don’t want to ‘go on a diet’, I ‘intend to be fitter and healthier’. Bullshit? It doesn’t matter whether it is bull poo or not, it’s the way of thinking that matters. And event though I don't agree with some of the theories or ideas that I've been presented with recently, that's OK too. I will take and use what I need.

I don’t know for sure exactly what I want, but I know more about where I want to be. So instead of wandering aimlessly, I at last have a bit more of a sense of direction.  I’m on a journey that will ultimately end in my death. That’s OK, that’s cool. But I’m going to try and make it a better ride, with comfier seats.

Liked this post?  Check out these:

Mind your mind

My take on the universe 

Some other interesting links:

Free mindfulness

Karl Moore on Twitter

Richard Wilkins says 'F*ck it'

Photo credits:

Scary shoes

Roller coaster