When I worked at the University of Cambridge, I used to run the University's 'affinity programmes'. A witty colleague once said to me 'to affinity and beyond' - which (as Toy Story was out at the time) was very amusing. The affinity programmes I ran were successful and profitable. It was a good time - a job I enjoyed and a period in my life that saw lots of changes.
But here I am, more than ten years on, and I'm going back into the world of higher education! I'm excited, indeed, but I'm also nervous. Not because of the job - the job looks great and the people I've met so far have been lovely. I know it's an environment I will enjoy - lots of people around, lots of communication and a chance to make a difference. Corny as it sounds, I like doing that in my jobs.
So why am I nervous? Because it's a change in my life that is wider than just my job. I am going to have to move to Colchester during the week - which will mean living 'on my own' (well probably in some hired room) for the first time in my life.
In other words, I have to 'grow up' at last. OK, it's only Monday to Friday - but it is a change, and a big change for me. Living away from home, planning and working and living with a whole different set of criteria for 'performance'.
I visited my new workplace today - there is a terrific gym. Perhaps I should join - instead of spending evenings mooching or playing on the computer, I could go to the gym daily. Get rid of some of this excess fat. Or perhaps I could write more... or perhaps... It's about motivation, isn't it?
I am motivated to do a good job, I am motivated to earn money for my family, I am motivated to get out there and do something. I just find the whole thing rather overwhelming.
What's the point of this post? Not a lot. I just needed to write my emotions out a bit. I am scared, nervous, excited and anticipating a real change in life. I guess it's quite simply one of the oldest fears in the book - change.
Wish me luck!